Not that I did anything to call myself that, but it is what I don't want to do that makes me a bad mom today:
I don't want to make supper.
I don't want to drive my kids over 20 miles so they can go to a dance.
I don't want to have to do anything but be me and veg on the couch and watch a silly TV show, or sit with a book and read and drink some coffee.
My husband is tired too. He's been working all week at a school that is challenging (though he loves it but it takes a lot out of him). You could say we're both drained in the kid department.
I've got good kids. They don't cause much trouble. One of them is in need constantly and the two youngest aren't needy like they used to be, but they're the ones who are excited about the dance.
Long ago, dances were my favorite part of high school. I always, always, always went to dances. I don't think I missed one in all my four years of high school (and our school had a lot of them). I loved to dance. It is so much fun, so I guess that makes me feel even doubly bad that I don't feel like taking my kids to the dance because I know how much fun I used to have.
Sigh . . . . (those dots mean a pause...My adult son told me they mean to some people a passive-aggressive moment, but to me they mean a pause).
Big Sigh . . . (another pause).
It's almost 5 p.m. in my world so it's time to start supper.
And we'll have to leave in 2 1/2 hours for the dance.
You know, Parents, it's probably okay to sometimes do things for the kids with a lack of enthusiasm. Sometimes just showing up and being there is enough.
And probably all I need is a quiet Saturday morning and some cuddle time with my husband Saturday night. Hey, tomorrow is Saturday! I guess my break is coming.
Love doesn't always have to feel good. Sometimes it doesn't even have be apparent. That doesn't mean it isn't there.
I am so thankful for that!