OK, let me write that sentence over in the way I really mean -- grief has made ME a bit off emotionally in a way I can't always recognize how what I say may be totally off or totally blown out of proportion. UGGGGGG! I am already like that in some ways. Grief just magnifies this kind of trait (that I already struggle to accept in myself).
Last night we had a school meeting about some proposed changes to our local school. Most people are not for the proposed changes. I am not for them at all. I can see the validity of the changes and why some would think they are a great idea, but I just see my son who doesn't need anymore changes at this time in his life.
So I spoke and I think I might have gotten a bit too emotional. My husband tells me I was never not kind. My husband tells me I was just starting to get into my manic self (which can make many run for cover), and this is why he put his hand on my leg (it wasn't because he thought I was sexy). Shannon and I complement each other very well. He's like the guy holding the string of the kite that wants to fly away. I'm the kite.
Grief reminds me that I am all too human and it is my fallible humanity that I want to pitch out the window.
Jesus came to save us in our fallible humanity. God loves us just as we are -- not as we think we ought to be. He is so much easier on us than we are on ourselves. He's not looking for perfect people. He's looking for wholly human ones who will fail but will believe in Him no matter what and let Him use their lives in any way He wants to use them for His Kingdom purposes.
"Go out at once into the streets and lanes of the city and bring in here the poor and crippled and blind and lame . . . Go into the highways and along the hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled." Luke 14: 21, 23
The poor and crippled and blind and lame inwardly might hit home more for us than thinking of merely physical traits. Think about it.
I am one of those and I am so thankful I can sit at God's table not despite my humanity but because of it.
"Thou dost prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; Thou hast anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows." Psalm 23:5