And I guess it's his right to make me. He is after all my husband and I had just made him do the same thing the day before.
My husband made me go to the doctor yesterday because my foot has been swollen for over two weeks and my thumb joints are acting up.
An x-ray was taken of my foot. Turns out I have some weird big piece of bone or something near my big toe joint and whenever I put weight on my toes it is like I'm walking on a large pebble. Doctor said most likely it needs to be cleaned out by a surgeon.
It's only a foot and there's no reason I should have been bummed about it, but I was. Surgery is expensive. Plus, it lays a person up. And it takes time and pre-surgery rules pretty much suck (fasting -- to include fasting from my morning coffee).
A black cloud enveloped my brain and I was lost. Then all the other factors in our present circumstances started raising their ugly heads (they are all unknown and not truly real -- Jesus says live for today because today has enough trouble of its own -- if we don't do this we can be overwhelmed by phantoms that are known as What-ifs and are a favorite of the enemy for inner torment).
What to do?
I got my Bible and my journal and a nice cup of hot black coffee (my favorite is Seattle's Best #5) and decided to do what I know in my head will help --- let the Word soak into my soul, in my thoughts, into my spirit.
And I found a nice little gem I hadn't noticed before in Psalm 37. In the first eight verses we are given thirteen commands, that if followed, will produce peace within (God rarely uses quick-fixes. And God's Words aren't magic spells to conjur up the solution we hope for. They are better than quick-fixes and magic spells).
Here are the commands (if you click on the Psalm 37 link you can read the psalm over at Biblegateway.com)
1. Do not fret.
2. Trust in the LORD.
3. Do good.
4. Dwell in the land.
5. Cultivate faithfulness.
6. Delight yourself in the LORD.
7. Commit your way to Him.
8. Trust also in Him (I guess we had to be reminded about trust)
9. Rest in the LORD.
10. Do not fret (yet another one that had to be repeated).
11. Cease from anger.
12. Forsake wrath.
13. Do not fret (and we are told for the third time not to fret -- worry ).
All these are about letting go of what we want to happen; of letting go of our agendas, ourselves and resting in God and following His lead. Letting Him be in charge. Giving up our need for control. Letting God do His job.
My foot is still a problem. My thumb joints still don't work well. But, I know God's working and all will be well.