Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah." Psalm 62:8
"Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief." Mark 9:24
I feel like I have to share this with you today. You gotta be honest in your relationship with God. Go to God honestly. Tell him all. You got to if you want that relationship to deepen. And believe you want it to deepen. There's no greater joy than being tight with Jesus.
I've heard people say they never get angry with God. They never talk to him in an angry way. Well, if it works for them, great. But let me tell you what I do (and this works for me). I say, "God I'm mad (if I'm mad). And I know I shouldn't be mad at you but I'm still mad."
And then I go on with this conversation and he eventually changes my heart and gets me to a better place emotionally. You aren't going to offend God. He can't work with shallowness. He can't work with fake emotions. He can't work with someone pretending to feel something he or she isn't feeling.
If you don't feel close to God, if you aren't even sure you know him personally, or if you don't even want to be close to him, talk to him about it. You can even say, "Hey God I don't feel close to you and I don't even know if I want to be close to you. I don't understand you. I am lost here. I know I should feel differently or think differently or something. Change my heart. Help me see you clearly. Help me see life as I should."
These are just ideas. There are no rules about how to talk with God. He wants to be your All in All. He wants to be the Great I AM in your life.
He can be, but you have to approach him. You have to talk to him (or write or however you best communicate).
Nothing is too difficult for him. In Him all the impossibilities are possible. He can change everything quicker than you can breathe. He is All.