It's not that you don't trust. You do.
But then again somewhere deep inside your heart there's a little tiny tear where a wisp of fear, a sliver of doubt slips in. Sometimes we fallible humans can't help it.
Even though we know better.
Even though we can read what God's word says.
Psalm 9:10 says, "Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."
Psalm 22:4 says, "In you our ancestors put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them."
And I think that God understands though He wishes we wouldn't waffle within for it causes us a lot of unnecessary grief. And even though He could, He never says, "I told you so."
He just reminds us He loves us so much more than we can fathom.
One of the hardest situations that is hard to completely trust God in is with our loved ones who look like they are running away from Him. Or those we have prayed for for so long -- maybe a lifetime -- who never seem to change.
When our children are small we take care of them. We protect them. We guide them.
And then they grow up.
And God says, "I've got this."
And we say, "But God, I really must say something. They need my advice. They need my help."
And God says, "No, they don't. I'm working. This is between them and Me."
And gently He adds, "It's none of your business."
And He is right . . . of course.
I've witnessed this in the last several months. I was "concerned" (a nice word for worry -- which is a sin, my fellow Believers) about a couple dear loved ones. God reminded me He was in control. God reminded me I had done my job. God reminded me to let Him work, to not interfere.
Miraculously, I listened to Him even though every cell in my body didn't want to -- I wanted to give my loved ones my wisdom, my advice (which would have backfired big time -- and God knew that).
After months and months I am seeing His work come out and it is lovely, so lovely to watch.
I had nothing to do with any of it. I just get to witness it.
And I am very very thankful.