Quit trying to be holy.
Quit trying to be good.
You can't do it by focusing on behavior. If your focus is anywhere other than Jesus, you're going to get it all wrong.
Read the verse above again. If you abide somewhere, you remain there, you stay there. Abiding is living somewhere in a sense. And when you are rooted in a place that place you are rooted in is going to color everything you do, everything you think, everything you say.
Someone observing you from the outside will know if you are living in Jesus or living in the world (if they are good observers).
Later in this same chapter Jesus says He has called us and appointed us to bear fruit. We bear fruit when we are rooted in Him and letting Him guide how we do things.
We can't bear fruit on our own.
Did you read that.
We can't bear fruit just because we want to. We can't be a "good Christian" because we think that is the right thing to do. We can't change from the outside in. Real change comes from the inside out.