You can't force people to change.
You can't force people to grow emotionally.
In and out of the church, in the world at large there always has been and always will be people who are stunted or crippled emotionally. We don't know why they are that way. There is healing for them, but that is between God and them.
We have to love people where they are at.
My son Hawk can't do any life skills without assistance. He cannot walk or talk or whatever. I know this. I can see this. Everyone who sees him can see this. So, it would be ridiculous and cruel of me to tell him he has to walk over to the table to get his food. He'd perish. He can't walk. He couldn't even drag himself to the table. Because of my insistance to get him to do better, he would die.
That wouldn't be mercy. That would be prideful and cruel and not loving at all.
Now, I'm not going to do that of course. But I think we who have chosen to grow emotionally and spiritually, maybe sometimes resent other Believers who have chosen not to. We don't know what is going on in other people's hearts, but often people may say, "Grow up."
Is that merciful?
Instead, we need to love people where they are at. No, our goal isn't to make each other comfortable in the faith. We are to challenge each other and love each other. But, often we need to approach people who are stunted within in a roundabout way -- God will give us wisdom if we ask for it. We have to stay teachable. God never forces anyone to grow. He encourages. He always encourages.
We can do that too.
And when it gets personal, when you're dealing with yourself, show yourself mercy. Give yourself time. Don't make excuses. Just learn and grow and grab hold of that lovingkindness of God that is new every morning (that's in Lamentations 3).