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Are you really you?

4/11/2019

Are you really you?

Do you know what I mean?

Are you true to who you were created to be or are you letting others define you?

My eyes opened this morning at 4 a.m. I wanted to go back to sleep, but my mind was awake. It traveled to all sorts of memories, good and bad. I thanked God for the man I married because I remembered men from my past I could have married, and I know for sure I would have been put into a box, a cage with my wings clipped.

Now, another person cannot take away our freedom within unless we let him or her. But sometimes we forget we have a choice. Sometimes we want someone's approval so bad we act the way we think they want us to act. This is not what Jesus wants for any of us. God created us to be free within. To be ourselves. To be the people He created us to be.

In The Message Devotional Bible, Eugene H. Peterson writes, "Each of us is seen as a being created in love and for love. Each of us is seen as a personality who isn't defined by our mistakes and sins or by other people's wishes and fantasies but by God's love for us, free to respond to his creative word to us.

"The gospel shatters the stereotypes that confine us to uncomfortable roles. Paul put this together in one of his famous sentences: 'In Christ's family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal' (Galatians 3:28). And then he went on to draw the conclusion: 'Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.' (5:1)."

Peterson also comments on what crowds can do to us (there's a reason God calls us sheep). Peterson writes, "Any time we turn over part of our lives to the crowd, we become less human, less alive. On the other hand, every time we retrieve a part of our lives from the crowd and respond to God's call to us, we're that much more ourselves, more human."

The world needs us to be us. The world, your community, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your employees, your church family, your acquaintances need you to be you in all your humanity. It takes courage to be who we were created to be, but it is so worth it (and feels so good).

Belonging to something bigger than ourselves gives us freedom

4/6/2019

I do a lot of reading, with Hawken and by myself. I review books for Amazon so I end up reading all sorts of stuff. One book I just finished was about displaced people throughout the world. There are like 68 million of them -- people who had to flee their homes because of poverty or violence or war or all of these combined. Most of these people it seems just want to go home. They want to belong again. They want a place they can just live their lives.

And it's possible even while we might not be in the place we want to be to belong to something that is bigger than us, something that isn't about us; something that will give us peace, a sense of purpose and freedom to be ourselves without the stress of thinking we have to control it all. It's such a relief when we give up control to God. Trying to control our lives and our worlds is a big thing that adds stress to many people's lives. When we realize it's not about us and we don't have to control, what a joy this is. If you have't ever done this, please do. Please seek out Jesus Christ and give Him control of your life. When you do that He takes the wheel (like in Carrie Underwood's country song) and we can sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride.

We all want to feel wanted and belong and purposeful. Being part of the Body of Christ can give us these feelings and purpose. Eugene H. Peterson's biblical translation The Message speaks to this with clear, every day language in
1 Corinthians 12:

"What I want to talk about now is the various ways God's Spirit gets worked into our lives . . . God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can . . . God's various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God's Spirit. . . Each person is given something to do that shows who God is: Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits. All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit and to all kinds of people!

"You can easily enough see how this kind of things works by looking no further than your own body. Your body has many parts -- limbs, organs, cells -- but no matter how many parts you can name, you're still one body. It's exactly the same with Christ. By means of his one Spirit, we all said goodbye to our partial and piecemeal lives. We each used to independently call our own shots, but then we entered into a large and integrated life in which he has the final say in everything.

"I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn't just a single part blown up into something huge. It's all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, 'I'm not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don't belong to this body,' would that make it so? If Ear said, 'I'm not beautiful like Eye, transparent and expressive; I don't deserve a place on the head,' would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could you hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it.

"But I also want you to think about how this keeeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn't be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own.

"The way God designed our bodies is a model for underrstanding our lives together as a church; every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don't, the parts we see and the parts we don't. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.

"You are Christ's body -- that's who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your 'part' mean anything."

Sometimes doing nothing is what you need to be doing

3/26/2019

Our society is addicted to activity. We seem to think that if we're busy our lives are more important than when we do nothing. That if we can hardly catch our breath we must be moving mountains. Our activity is tied to how we feel about ourselves. When we can't do what we want to do we can get a little down.

Maybe we ought to study our addiction to activity -- maybe our activity is what is getting in the way of God really working. Sometimes doing nothing is what we need to be doing. Sometimes in the nothing is when big things are accomplished.

Like healing. If we've been sick and start to feel better we might start doing more things than we should be doing -- this happens to people all the time. A loved one has been sick and she's feeling better. So of course she over did it! And I've been sick. I'm still recovering. I feel guilty for not doing what I feel like I should be doing, but I know my body isn't up to full-strength yet and I need to get better. So, I'm doing a lot of nothing. I've taken a few naps. I've read a lot. I sat outside today for a while in my coveralls when the sun came out. Doing as little as possible is what I was supposed to do today.

How did our society get to where it's at right now? Where busyness is supposedly a sign of success or importance? This isn't a biblical belief. I'm sure the enemy is a fan of busyness and distractedness. It's hard to see God in those states of mind. God, in fact, tells us to "Cease striving and know that He is God." Psalm 46:10

He leads us "beside quiet waters" to "restore" our souls. Psalm 23:2-3

He will choose restoration over busyness every single time.

Neighborly Love

3/15/2019

When Jesus was asked by the lawyer who his neighbor was (meaning who did he have to actually love like himself), Jesus told the parable of The Good Samaritan. The one who shows neighborly love in the parable is from the race of people the lawyer very likely looked down on. I think Jesus means we are to love everyone who we come into contact with -- people who live near us; people we talk to in the store; people we work with and go to church with; people who we share a smile with; people who live far; anyone we can do good for; young and old; the beautiful and the ugly; the smart and the foolish; the ones who are nice to us and the ones who aren't.

This morning we were shown a great deal of neighborly love by a wonderful family who lives not too far away. The husband and kids showed up and dug out our vehicles and our driveway.

This picture on the left shows what our place looked like before the neighbors showed up.

And here on the right is how it looks now!

Our neighbors didn't have to help us out. I'm sure they could have found something else to do on this sunny day. Instead, they spent their time, their energy, their fuel and used their equipment to help us.

One of the books I am reading these days with Hawken is a book about psychology. Recently we read about an experiment that was conducted. It was called "The Good Samaritan Experiment." The ones conducting the experiment wanted to see if certain factors would cause people to stop and help someone who was hurt. There were two groups of students. The first group was told they had just a few minutes to get to their next destination. On the way there they passed a man who was hurt (he was an actor). Most of the people in this group didn't stop (though some felt really guilty later). The second group wasn't given the time constraints. Many more stopped to help the man in this group. What the researchers found was that "being in a hurry" was the one big thing that stopped people from helping others (or at least that's what I got from it).

Think about our society -- how hurried it is. How fast and rushed most people seem to be. I wonder if sometimes the enemy is behind our hurrying, our fast--paced lives. Maybe he gets us in such a rush we neglect doing God's work because we don't notice what needs doing; or, we feel what we're doing is just too important to be late for.

I know there have been some really important people who have said the main thing is not to rush or hurry in life, but I can't seem to remember who these important people are. I looked up "hurry" quotes and found some good ones. I'll share them here:

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." ~Lao Tzu

"Once you stop rushing through life, you will be amazed how much more life you have time for." ~Author Unknown

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset." ~St Francis de Sales

Staring out my window and seeing lots of snow

3/10/2019

So I stare out my dining room window and I see lots of snow on this sunny Sunday morning. This is the 4th Sunday in a row we've had to cancel church due to the weather. I tell myself and everyone I talk to daily that "we are one day closer to spring," but yesterday in the middle of the day I announced to my family, "I'm so done with winter."

I, by nature, am not a winter person. I revel in warm, sunny weather. I love to sit outside and let the sun warm my face. I like my skin getting brown. I love to hear the birds talk and a light breeze straight from heaven rustle my hair.

And we've all heard our whole lives that we should "look on the bright side" of everything, but that kind of cultural pop psychology jargon doesn't do much for me. There's some truth in it, but to really do its job it has got to be something deeper than that.

It's got to be rooted in truth. The one truth that comes to mind today is that God is good. He is very good. He is perfect Good. Jesus said to someone who called Him "Good Teacher" that "No one is good except God alone." Luke 18:19b

God knows a lot of us are tired of winter, but He doesn't base his actions and creative energies on His children's emotions or likes or dislikes (just imagine if we who are parents based our life choices on what our children wanted and told us to do!). But that doesn't change that God is good and God doesn't want to make His children miserable. Even if we are very bad He doesn't want to make us miserable.

So, how do we look at something in our lives we don't naturally like? We can look at everything in our lives as gifts from God and then search out why they are gifts to us!

Okay, yes, that is kind of like "looking at the bright side of things," but it's different. It's rooted in eternal truth, in God's love for us and in His goodness.

So, Jane, why is this winter a gift to you?

Well, Jane, this winter is a gift to me because:
1. I've been able to wake up several extra mornings withoutt an alarm.
2. I've been able to cuddle with my husband mornings when typically I wouldn't have had.
3. Life has a slower pace. I love slow-paced living!
4. Shannon and I have found out we love recording podcasts.

I'm still waiting eagerly for spring, but to see these benefits I have gleaned from this very snowy winter helps me accept it a little bit more.

I think we can do this gift thing with anything that comes into our lives -- even death of a loved one. I think back on my daughter Maggie dying in 2013 and I think, yes, good things, blessings came from her death (they don't compare to having her with me, but it is a gentler way to see death). What came from her death? Her funeral was glorious -- so many people there and so many people were able to hear the gospel. My church family really supported us and people outside our church family got to see what a wonderful thing it is to be part of a church family.

Those are just two things. There were more. Back to winter -- I still don't like winter, but I can see how it is a gift to me. And I will always, always, always wish Maggie hadn't died in 2013, but death is a reality for all of us, and we all will have to deal with a loved one dying. It is God's will we continue to live full lives even when we have these gaping holes from loved ones' deaths.

Hey, one announcement! Listen to Jane and Shannon's podcast later today. It will be on the Dupree Baptist Church website pastor's page. Click here to listen. There's one from last week on the site now and I will post today's when we get it done (sometime later this morning). Last week's was really good. It is about 20 minutes long.

After love it comes down to this (maybe)

3/1/2019

Jesus tells us the most important commandment is to "Love The Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind (which includes our imagination) and strength" and the second most important commandment is to "love your neighbor as yourself." So, loving God and loving people.

After love we could say (maybe) it comes down to 1 John 2:15-17. In Peterson's The Message it says, "Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world -- wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important -- has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from Him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out -- but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity."

Sure, there's a whole lot more we could talk about. There's a whole lot more about life, but what we want and what we're trying to get reveals what's really inside us.

Matthew 23:28 says, "Even so you too outwardly appear righteous to man, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

That is a picture of ugliness. May it not be true of me or you. We can't hide from God. Depending where you're at spiritually that is a comforting statement or a frightening one. If it isn't comforting, seek Him. He'll get you where you need to be. He knows what will make your heart sing in this life. He wrote the song.

(A note about the Maybe: There are some things I know to be true like: Jesus is the only way to heaven. Jesus died so we could receive eternal life; Jesus loves you and me. Father God is a good father. The Holy Spirit will reside in you if you want Him too. After that there are a whole lot of things up for debate and really just don't matter when it comes down to what life's about.)

Trees and God

2/27/2019

Thank you God for the sunshine!

Isn't it beautiful to see those diamond crystals glint in the snow? Of course I'm not outside examining them, just using my memory on that, but they are pretty. And even if we don't appreciate the design of each individual snowflake God still creates them. Actually, even the person who loves snow more than anything can't appreciate every unique snowflake God creates. God knows this and still creates them. Picture a little kid sitting at a table making paper snowflakes -- the kid who does it just for fun. That's God!

What a tangent! It was the sunshine that did it. I'm watching it fall on my hands as I type and come through my window (again, there I go). I want to share a quote from The Hidden Life of Trees about trees I think applies to God too. Today I read, "The main reason we misunderstand trees, however, is that they are so incredibly slow."

Trees are slow to grow and age and act in human years.

And God is often slow to act from a human perspective. This creates a lot of misunderstandings about Him in our minds. We see something bad happen. We might think, "Why didn't God do something? Why didn't God prevent that? He says He is Love, but is He really?"

We see someone who lives a pretty much evil love get ahead. We might think, "Why are they rewarded?" when in fact, that isn't how God sees it. Nothing gets past Him.

He's always working (even in those situations that are tragic and seem wholly pointless). God's view of this life isn't our view. His view is perfect. His view takes everything and everyone into account. It might not be a good thing for you temporarily, but in the end, God will make it so if you love Him.

2 Peter 3:9 says, "The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent."

And Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

What are you living by?

2/25/2019

One day closer to spring, People! The saga with snow and closed roads and winter wind and snow days continue in our area of the country (probably yours too). From a book I am reading with Hawken called The Hidden Life of Trees (which I heartily recommend to everyone who loves trees and reading) I am thinking we will reap some wonderful benefits from all the cold and snow when spring and summer arrive. Less bugs. A lot of green. Lovely, lovely, lovely!

Because of the weather, we called off church yesterday and Shannon and I recorded his sermon while sitting at the kitchen table. I got to talk a bit too (If you want to listen click here. It's about 20 minutes long). Something Shannon said has stuck with me since. The title of the sermon was "Finding God in the darkness" so obviously Shannon talked about how to live when we are in a dark time. Shannon said, "We live by promises, not be reasons why."

I interpreted that as it's more important to be with God in the darkness than to try and figure out why the darkness is there. Also, it's more important to say, "Here I am, God" than "Why, God?"

When I have a rough time or a challenge doesn't seem to end I've often found myself asking God "Why?" rather than just waiting it out knowing God will bring it all together for my good. I am pretty sure I've spent a lot of time asking "why" when I could have been focusing on God's faithfulness and goodness.

There's nothing wrong with asking why. Scripture validates this. Proverbs 25:2 says, "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter."

If people never asked why we would not progress in science and medicine and all types of stewardship. If people don't ask why in relationships we'd have a lot more misunderstandings. So, asking why is not wrong. It is just that sometimes we aren't going to get an answer. In those times we just have to rest in the uncertainty knowing God is certain. Knowing God is good. Knowing God is faithful.

I'm thinking of a little child who keeps asking Mom "Why?" while sitting on her lap. The mom finally says, "Just because" and wraps the child in her arms. The child rests against her and relaxes into her warmth. That is what we are to do with God when we can't figure it out.

"Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother. My soul is like a weaned child within me . . . hope in the LORD from this time forth and forever." Psalm 131:3

You're doing something mighty important

2/22/2019

The world is starving for real love (think Shannon mentioned that comment in a sermon two weeks ago). Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to feel loved. You can see it on all the movies and TV shows produced -- characters looking for love or in love or falling out of love. And then you look on social media and there is so many people starving for affection or for attention -- they want to know they matter. Oh, if only everyone would open their hearts to God -- Jesus has been calling out all this time telling every single person he or she matters.

The world has its own view of love -- a really screwed up kind of view. You see this everywhere too. People choosing each other and then leaving each other. You see marriages begin and marriages end. You see kids who are obviously troubled; adults who are troubled. So many have never experienced real love. So many have never even seen it.

And that is where you come in, where I come in. If we work on our own relationships and they are in a good place, we are showing the world love. People -- adults and children -- need to see real love. They need to see spouses loving each other no matter what. They need to see parents who love their kids. They need to see friendships that are lasting. You're doing something mighty important for this world when you love those in your life. When you put Jesus first and people second. When you "love your neighbor as yourself" as Jesus said.

If you live in a peaceful home where love abides, you probably can't fathom what you have, what you have that is different than what most people have. Just know if you have peace you have an incredible gift.

Relationships take work, but it is the kind of work that reaps huge benefits for not only us, but our children, our families, our friends and the world arouund us.

Show your world today what love is. Show your world how to do it. They need you.

Winter through my window

2/16/2019

I see winter outside my window -- snow on the old outhouse, snow on branches, snow on the ground. I see my clothes line standing bravely in the wind waiting for spring when I can hang sheets outside again (I love the smell of sheets dried outside). And yes, I am learning from Old Man Winter as I have written in a couple past posts, but honestly, I have to really try hard to like these days. I'm not a winter girl. I do love those winter days that are sunny and still and about 30 degrees outside. I like them because I can sit outside in my coveralls and drink a cup of coffee and pretend it is the beginning of spring.

This morning winter is weighing on my heart and tiring me out. Physically, the cold wears me out. I feel 50 years old in the way young kids think 50 must feel like (ancient). I tell myself, "One day closer to spring." I say this to everyone who mentions the cold or the snow. "We're one day closer to spring," I say. I say this for them, but I say this mostly for me because I don't want to complain about God's winter for He surely loves it. But I admit I love the verse from Song of Solomon 2:11. It says "For behold, the winter is past. The (snow) is over and gone." Okay, the verse doesn't say snow. It says rain, but I thought it was okay to change it because one day soon it will apply here (and probably where you are too).

I didn't want to end on a note of negativity this morning. But then I got this quote from C.S. Lewis via Biblegateway this morning it seemed to fit. It is what I am going to try and do once I get off the computer. Lewis writes, "The value of the myth (or story) is that it takes all the things we know and restores to them the rich significance which has been hidden by 'the veil of familiarity.' The child enjoys his gold meat (otherwise dull to him) by pretending it is buffalo, just killed with his own bow and arrow. And the child is wise. If you are tired of the real landscape, look at it in a mirror. By putting (whatever) into a (story), we do not retreat from reality: we rediscover it. As long as the story lingers in our mind, the real things are more themselves."

This will seem silly to some, but I like the thought. Maybe today my winter will be Narnia right before Aslan appears. Right when it begins to thaw because Aslan "in on the move."

One day closer to spring my friends. Halleluia!

A mom wonders about prayer

2/12/2019

I sometimes think we all are in an endless conversation with ourselves and God. Things come into our minds. They plant seeds. We forget about them. The next day we read something and what we had forgotten about comes back to mind and tweaks our perspective on what we are now thinking about. And then the next day it happens again. And on and on and on.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should have written that I am in an endless conversation with myself and God (and sometimes with my husband too -- I'll continue a conversation we never finished and he'll know what I'm talking about -- I guess he knows me well). When I pray for others I pray for Hawken's healing too. I pray for it with him. And he smiles. We've been praying for his healing since he was arm-sized. I'd be a liar if I said God hasn't healed. He has. He's brought a bit of healing. Hawk smiles more now at the age of 19 then he ever did 10 years ago. His eye contact is good. He can tell me when he needs changing with noises. He helps me when I dress him by pushing his legs through his jeans and lifting his arms so I can apply deodorant. These are all relatively new skills for him. And he's aware, very aware. I believe he's brilliant. So do others. You can see intelligence in his eyes.

But when I pray for his healing I am praying God heals him from all the seizures and gets him to leap and dance and sing. I pray for total healing. God knows this is what I'm asking for. And I know He can do it. For some reason He doesn't.

Yesterday I read in John 15:16, "You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you."

My questions about healing came to mind. Maybe if I produce tons and tons of spiritual fruit I'll be able to ask for Hawk's healing and it will be done, I thought. I sat for several minutes trying to figure this out. Trying to figure out what I actually had to do to get this prayer answered the way I want it answered.

Finally I read it to Shannon and asked him about it. He sat for a while. He then said, "I don't think that's how it works." And then he said he thought Jesus was referring to asking for spiritual fruit in our lives. When he said that I deflated inside because I think he's right.

Yes, Jesus said, "that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you."

But there has to be context. He isn't going to give us whatever we ask. He isn't going to give us anything that goes against His commandments. He isn't going to give us anything that hurts us. He isn't going to give us anything that we will spend on our selfish desires. He isn't going to give us something that isn't going to glorify God.

Earlier in the same chapter in verses 7 and 8, Jesus says, "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it shall be done for you. By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples."

If I live in Jesus and if His words live in me. If that is true that would mean I want to do Jesus' work; live like Jesus.

In John 17:4 Jesus says, "I glorified Thee (Father God) on the arth, having accomplished the work which Thou hast given Me to do."

Again it gets back to glorifiying God.

(Now God isn't an egomaniac. Glorifying Him means we praise Him and everything is put in right perspective then. He's the Father. We're meant to be His children.)

And I had to wonder, how best will Hawken glorify God?

I don't know the anwer to that. I know as his mother I wish I could see him do typical 19 year old things -- like go on a date; drive a car; have a job; pursue a dream -- be outrageously happy. I long to hear his voice, to hear him sing; to see him jump for joy.

But I am not Hawken's creator. I don't know why God created Hawken the way He did. Why can't He walk? Why can't He talk? Why does he have endless seizures?

I can tell you this: since he needs constant care that meant that I am with him most all the time. That's obvious. But what isn't obvious is that Hawk has taken care of me throughout his life. I deal with mental health issues, and in times when I've gotten really, really low, knowing Hawk needs me for everyting has kept me doing doing what I am called to do. He has such peace and contentment inside him. He sits with me and keeps me company. Yes, I take care of him physically, but emotionally, it's a toss up who takes care of who.

What kind of life is it for a 19 year old to stay home with his mom all the time? I don't know. I do know he's happy. He's content. He's loved and he knows it. He has a purpose.

Sunday, during his sermon, Shannon talked about there being a world-wide poverty of love. This is so true. Think of all the people who are seeking to be loved; seeking to be accepted. Hawk's got that wholly. And again, he knows it.

And I also realized in a way I was trying to figure out how to get God to do what I wanted Him to do. That's called manipulation. Thankfully God isn't offended by our wrong actions. I need to come to prayer just to be in conversation wtih Father God. Are we asking God for things without bothering to really spend time with Him? Prayer is about spending time with Him. Getting the things we want should come after that (or it's just like aduilt kids calling you just when they want something -- you're happy to hear them until you realize they don't have time for you. They just need something from you).

Forgive me if I've written about all this before. Truly I don't think about it all the time. Just sometimes. Like a forgotten itch that is suddenly itchy again.

Another lesson from Old Man Winter

2/9/2019

My last blog post was about learning from winter rather than disdaining it (you can read it here). Well, the lessons aren't done. If God has placed us somewhere in a situation, He's got lessons for us to learn. They are ongoing. He doesn't ever intend for us to be miserable, but situations can make us miserable if we let them.

It's been bitterly cold in much of the country. The land is covered in snow. Our school district was out three days this week due to the cold. I can't say I love winter, but I'm trying to enjoy it. Just a bit ago I sat outside drinking a cup of coffee. It's 0 degrees out. I had to take the time before the heat wave left us!

Forgive the spots in the pictures. It's dust under the camera lens.

So, what have I learned from winter the last couple of days?

I was reminded that this world is God's. He carries out His plan and His ways no matter what our opinions are about what He's doing. I believe God hopes we will enter into the joy of His plan, but if we can't He isn't going to change His plan for us. He can help us learn to be content in the midst of it, but He isn't going to change His plans to suit us. It's His world after all, and He knows what is best for it (and us).

I read that deep freeze is really good for the earth, for the soil, for plants and trees. It gives them time to rest. It gives plants and trees time to hold their energy in reserve waiting for spring. The soil's drainage properties are improved after going through a really cold winter. The snow insulates the ground and plant life. And the bitter cold keeps bug populations in check (like mosquitoes -- we'll appreciate that later this year).

Sometimes we can think childishly about life, about circumstances. It's as if we are stamping our foot and saying, "I don't like this. I don't like this at all. It's bad."

When we have that kind of attitude we are seeing ourselves as the center of our worlds rather than God. That will definitely make us miserable!

God has promised warm weather will follow winter. In Genesis 8:22 He says, "While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, And cold and heat, And summer and winter, And day and night Shall not cease."

I won't disdain winter any longer

2/6/2019

When I was growing up I had at least 10 blankets on my bed because I got cold. As a teenager I told my mother I was going to live somewhere warm when I grew up. I went to college in the farthest place south I could and still be in the state of Illinois, but other than that I've stayed in the north my adult life (except for a year and a half in North Carolina). It wasn't because I embraced winter. I have lived where I have lived in spite of winter. Until this morning I would have said I disdained winter (disdain means "the feeling that someone or something is worthy of one's consideration or respect; contempt"). I didn't complain about it much. I just endured it (it does get tough when you have a wheelchair to get through the snow). All winter I've been saying daily, "One day closer to spring."

And I'm going to keep saying that because I am still looking forward to spring, but I won't disdain winter any longer. Today I read in Job 12:8, "Speak to the earth, and let it teach you."

I've been like a snarky teenager sitting in class who refuses to listen because she has to be in a class she didn't choose. So I said instead, 'Winter, teach me."

It was if an old, discouraged teacher suddenly sat up with a smile. Finally, a pupil who wanted to listen!

What did he teach me? I received four lessons this morning. The first one is one I've heard others talk about, but the other three were new ones to me in the context of winter. Then again, maybe they are all lessons we know but winter gives us a physical illustration of lessons we need to learn over and over.

Here is what winter taught me this morning:

First, snow covers everything like grace covers us. Snow can make the whole world beautiful, even the ugly parts. This is a picture of grace in us. When grace covers us even our not-so-pretty parts look fresh and alive and holy.

Second, winter reminds us there are seasons of rest and inactivity. This is a good thing. When we fight against these seasons of rest we do it to our own peril (and sometimes we endanger others when we ignore this). At the very least we wear ourselves out. We can end up killing ourselves fighting against the rest God imposed.

Third, winter is ordained by God, but God puts limits on it. Every season in our lives has limits. No season will last forever. Good or bad.

And finally, even if we don't like winter we need times of rest, extended times of rest. They are useful to us personally. We might not be able to see or even know why we need still times, but God is doing something in the stillness, in the darkness, in the cold.

Thank Teacher Winter for his lessons. He doesn't have to be our favorite teacher (though he is some people's favorite teacehr). We just need to listen when he is speaking. I'm sure there are all sorts of other lessons he wants to share (like beauty can be deadly), but class today is done.

Thank you Father for your seasons. And thank you Father we know winter is given just a few months to impose its rest on the land before spring bursts through the door.

Stay safe anyone.

Your choice does make a difference

2/4/2019

To our modern senses what they did seems wrong, but in their time it was a common practice. It was the solution society told them to choose to fix their problem.

What was their problem?

A barren womb.

In Abram and Sarai's day, this wasn't just a desire to have children. Not having an heir meant the future of their line was in jeopardy. To some it meant that they weren't seen favorably by God. It meant that Sarai's worth was in question. Let's read:

"Now Sarai, Abram's wife had borne him no children, and she had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, 'Now behold, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children through her.' And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai." Genesis 16:1-2

If you know the story then you know what happened next. Hagar got pregnant and then lorded it over Sarai. Sarai was hurt by this and blamed Abram for Hagar's attitude toward her. Abram told Sarai to do whatever she wanted to do so then Sarai treated Hagar harshly. Hagar ran away. God confronted her. Told her to go back to Sarai, let go of the nasty attitude, and gave her a promise of a strong future for the son she was carrying. She was carrying Ishmael who is the father of the arabs, of the middle-eastern people who are not Israelis.

It's easy to blame Sarai here, but she was doing exactly what we often do. We turn to the world for solutions to our problems rather than wait for God. God had promised Abram a son. If they had waited the Middle East wouldn't be what it is today. If they had waited they would have saved themselves a whole lot of heartache; would have saved 1000s of people a whole lot of pain and suffering. But they didn't wait. They thought and worried and finally convinced themselves that God wanted them to do it the world's way.

Think about problems from your past. Think about those times you didn't wait for God, when you took the easy way out and "fixed" the problem yourself. Are you still paying for those fixes? I know I still have consequences to deal with from times I went ahead of God; times my faith faltered; times I let stress or panic lead me rather than God.

We can tell ourselves the choices we make day-to-day don't matter, that no one sees them anyway, that they aren't about important things. But every choice we make matters. Every choice speaks faith or fear into the world. When we wait on God, when we do it His way, the world gains more light -- a light that will shine through time and get bigger as it goes.

You matter. God is using you even if no one else sees what you do. Don't fall under the spell of the world that says you need a bunch of "likes" on social media or that you need people to see what you do for it to be important. That isn't how God works. He sees you. Those are the eyes that matter. He's chosen you. Choose Him and His ways. You'll never regret that choice.

"Yet those who wait for the LORD, will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31

Ten Days of Life

1/28/2019

I hadn't realized it had been 10 days since I've posted. Yesterday in Sunday School we talked about the desire for fruit trees. That always brings me back to heaven. Can't wait to taste the fruit there! Well, I can wait, but that's going to be one of the first things I do (after greeting Jesus and seeing Maggie and maybe trying my hand at flying).

What's happened in your life over the last 10 days?

A week or so ago I went a bit manic and cut my hair off myself. I'd been cutting a bit off every week.

Finally was tired of it and just started cutting. Shannon came home after I was done. I've had to swear off the scissors for a while. I've decided to let it go gray anyway so we'll see what happens. I tell my youngest that it's just hair. And most people's hair grows back. A weird thing -- I like how it feels so I find myself running my fingers through my own hair several time a day.

One of my goals for the new year was to do a lot more sketching and painting. Now when I say that it doesn't mean I'm good at it. I just enjoy it and it gets me into that wonderful zone -- good for the mental health (has kept me from plummeting to the depths after my hyomanic phase which was going on the day I cut my hair -- probably was the reason I took the scissors to my head. Life with MI/BP -- never boring).

I had planned on just sketching at night while watching TV with my kids. I do this but I need to sketch more to fill up the sketch books (one a month) Shannon got me for Christmas.

Here's what I sketched a few minutes ago. I like drawing line drawings very quickly. I'll never be a reality kind of artist. That's what photographs are for in my world (though I sure admire artists who draw so perfectly the picture looks like a photograph or better):

If you look close you can see the progression of a pear I was eating while I sketched. Ah, pears! I love them. I want to plant pear trees but I've never been able to grow a tree successfully. But hey, maybe we'll try again. This could be the year!!

When I paint or draw during the day, this is usually what Hawk does:

He hangs out on the floor with Cowboy. Cowboy often brings Hawk toys hoping he'll play with him. When he doesn't Cowboy just lays beside him and chews away at his toy.

Oh, God has been so good! What blessings have you seen in this first month of 2019? There must be something.

Yesterday I was able to order a package of bees that will arrive at the end of May. I've been wanting to do this for years. I don't know if I'll be successful, but I'm going to try.

Yesterday in church Shannon talked about our reactions to horrendous events in our world (such as the legalization of the abortion of full-term-not-yet-born babies in the state of NY). It was a great sermon. You can read the notes and hear it here. One point he mentioned was praying. He shared six things we can pray when we don't know what to pray. They are:
1. Pray God opens people's eyes.
2. Pray God protects the innocent.
3. Pray God comes soon.
4. Pray God uses you to the utmost.
5. Pray God give you the power to witness.
6. Pray God gives you a chance to make a difference.

How's your year going? It's good to look at it. Is it going the way you want it to go? Only a couple of months till spring starts. Praise God! Praise God for the promise of spring.

I read something today in Ephesians out of The Message. I want to share it here:

"It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live." Ephesians 2:1

Why do we look to the world to tell us how to live? We all do it: when we believe lies; when we look to the world for answers; when we try to look like people who have it all together; when we start sounding like everybody else; when we stay silent because we're afraid of what others might think. This world isn't our home. Be kind today. Give someone some real encouragement. Point someone in God's direction. Know that our time on this earth is so short. Don't get caught up in things that don't need your attention, things that stress you out.

Often, in the last several months I've woken up from bad dreams. Usually I don't know what the reason is. I don't watch violent stuff or read violent or nasty stuff. But my dreams still sometimes get filled with negative scenes. Yesterday when I told Shannon this he said I had to figure out what was at the root of my dream. And I did. I had gotten off center. I had been focusing on a disappointment that I had wished had been different. This led me to look at something else that I wished was different (these are things I cannot change at the moment -- if there is something you don't like in your life change it if you can). Once I knew the root of the problem God was able to help me get that negative junk out of me and I was fine. God tells us to guard what is entrusted to us. One thing entrusted to each of us is our own mental and emotional health. Negative junk can really do a number on this.

If you've read this entire post I applaud you. It is jumpy and haphazard but sometimes that is what my life is like. Maybe yours is too! And I've told Hawk "Just a minute" several times so I better get off. He and I are going to watch an episode of The Great British Baking Show (info on it is here). I don't know why we enjoy it, but we do. So, I'm signing off. Make this year a great one! And hey, Jesus really does love you.

A way of thinking

1/18/2019

So, I am still working on my painting. You can see what it looked like eight days ago by clicking here. Here is what it looks like this morning:

Totally different from before. I had no idea where the painting was going when I started -- even a few days in I didn't know. I think I know how it is going to end now. I'm hoping to be done with it sometime next week.

It's fun to let a work lead you. It will surprise you. It will frustrate you. It will make you laugh. It will fill you full of meaning. It will make you pause. It will make you slow down. It will make you thankful. It might even make you mad or sad. Letting a work lead you is kind of like life. At least I think it's how life is meant to be.

Last week in Bible study at church we talked about creativity and The Creator and how God is constantly creative, not only when He creates (which is constant), but also when He relates with and responds to and leads us. He wants this kind of creative thinking for us too. When He says in Isaiah 55:8, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Neither are your ways My ways" I believe He is contrasting our tendency to be rigid in thoughts and ways with His free Creative thought and ways. I'm sure you've heard before, "You can't put God in a box."

This is what we do when we expect life to go our way. We get rigid in thought and ways when we see ourselves as the center of life and want everything to go our way. When things don't and when others don't act the way we want them to we create drama in our lives. You know -- that bad drama that is rampant all over social media outlets and across news channels and reality shows and wherever else media is. Oh yes! Even at work -- really anywhere there is a bunch of people. It's because most people aren't thinking creatively. They are seeing life through a rigid set of rules they want to go by. Seeing life through a rigid mindset is easier short-term, but it causes pain and disappointment and frustration. And it sucks the fun and adventure out of life for sure!

What if we lived life like the process the painting above is going through? What if, when something happens, we didn't expect we go with it? Maybe we could say, "Okay God, this surprised me and I'm not sure I like it much, but I'm going to see what You do in this situation. I'm going to see how You work it all out. I'm going to see how You bring people to you through it."

If we know Him we can hold onto the promise found in Romans 8:28. It says, "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Sure, life is hard. Of course we will be sad and mad and discouraged and even desperate at times. Of course we will face death and find ourselves grieving. We will deal with a lot of bad stuff the longer we live. But if we allow God to help us see things through His creativity, it makes things sweeter and better. And they might make us sweeter and better too.

The Zone is Waiting

1/10/2019

The zone is waiting for you! It is the place God wants us all to experience -- the place where we get lost in the activity (whatever that activity might be). Some people find it creating, sewing, writing, farming, planting or running. The possibilities are never-ending! There are all sorts of ways you can find that zone and just exist in it enjoying the activity at hand. It is a glimpse of living in eternity!

I've painted in the last couple of years, but I really haven't painted, really haven't entered that painting zone since 2013, since my daughter died. It isn't that I was avoiding or refusing to paint out of some misguided grief. I just didn't feel like it. I tried to paint last year. I bought some canvases (what I like to paint on) and some new paint. But nothing really came out of it (I did paint over one painting, but I never entered the zone).

This week I put it on my to do list for today.

When Hawk fell asleep, I got out a canvas I had painted on before. I got out a paint shirt to go over my clothes (though I still got some on my jeans -- I need one of those mechanic jump suits -- I have no idea what they're called. Mechanic coveralls?). I got out the brushes, a sheet for the floor (I don't have a studio); the paints and set to work. I didn't know what I'd paint but our young dog was lying beside me so I started painting him. And the zone found me. Here's what I have done so far:

Yes, it's a mess, but it won't be. I think the woman is going to have gray curly hair and bright eyes. I think I'll call it "Dancing for the dog."

Thank you Jesus for paint and canvas and creativity!

I urge you to find your own creative outlet. I know I've talked about this before, but it is a necessity for each of us. We were made in the image of the Creator. That means we all can create. That means we all will love to create in some way. God loves to create. He is doing it constantly. Think of all the babies born just today throughout the world. Each one is unique. Think of all the baby animals. Think of all the flowers and vegetation and all the ocean creatures and birds.

God is never done creating! If you don't know how you are called to create, ask God. It might not be in an traditional creative field (such as painting or music or whatnot). A person I know loves working on vehicles. That is his creative field! I know someone else who loves to bake. That's hers! See, there is no limit. What do you love to do? If you don't know, what did you love to do as a child? Sometimes if we remember who we were as children we can remember what we love to do.

Or, is there something you've always wanted to try? Maybe that's it. I urge you to create this week. You were created in the Creator's image -- and what a glorious image that is!

He's Got Awesome Hands

1/7/2019

Way back in the summer of 1993 I was temporarily stationed at Fort Benjamin Harrison in Indiana. I was there for a photojournalism course. Our classes were during the day. The rest of the time was for assignment and for whatever else we decided to do. My roommate and I decided to take a month-long pottery course. It was only once a week, but it was sure fun. I learned just enough to know I really hope to try my hand at pottery again one day. I learned the potter has to knead the clay to get all the air bubbles out because air bubbles will wreak havoc on the finished project (probably make it crack). I learned the potter gets pretty dirty and she has to put effort into shaping the clay while it is on the wheel. learned that if you see a potter apparently make a beautiful object with no effort he or she is a super experienced and skilled potter!

These experiences came back to mind this morning when I read about the potter in Jeremiah 18. Verse three says, "there (the potter) was making something on the wheel."

I am thanking God for His Awesome hands! The clay has no idea what the potter is shaping it into when it is on the wheel. The clay's job is to yield to the potter -- the one who has the vision for what the clay is meant to be. Unlike me (who shaped the clay into the only things I was capable of making it into), God is not limited by lack of skill or patience or vision. God is perfect and He is constantly working our lives into what He created us to be. When we yield to Him the results will be beautiful. When we don't yield to Him we make it tougher on ourselves and also prolong processes that might be mighty uncomfortable.

Think about what would happen if the clay was able to rebel against the potter. The potter couldn't get anything done until the clay yielded. In a way actual clay can "rebel." It can for some reason not work with the potter. When that happens the potter has to squash the clay and start again. Sometimes this means the new creation will be smaller than the one originally intended.

This happens with us too. If we waste a lot of time going our own way, when we finally yield to God He works with what is left and creates something beautiful and useful to Him. Yet, it probably is different than what He intended (that we will never know. God doesn't tell us what would have happened if we had yielded to Him right away).

None of these are new thoughts. People have been talking about God being the potter since people were potters. Yet, it is good to remember. The situations you are in, the people who are in your life, all of this God will use to shape you into who you are meant to be. We never have to stop growing. We never have to stop learning. Who we are today isn't who we were a year ago, even a week ago. Let God shape you. Yield to Him. The results will be fantastic!

An Awareness You Will Cultivate If You Do This

12/31/2018

If you acknowledge God exists, you know He created you. If you have a relationship with Him, you know He knows you better than you know yourself. If you seek Him regularly (as in you making your relationship with Him a priority and so when you seek Him you are seeking to be closer to Him as we do in all relationships which are important to us), you know that by seeking Him, He will give you understanding of many things (all things eventually) and one of those things is a greater understanding of yourself.

Psalm 119:73 says, "Thy hands made me and fashioned me; Give me understanding, that I may learn Thy commandments."

The two parts of that sentence seem to be an odd pairing when initially read (at least to this reader), but as I thought about it, this meaning came to mind: As God gives me understanding of myself I begin to understand why I react to life and situations the way I do. Why I react wrongly. Why certain situations cause me pain. Why certain situations bring out the worst in me. These are the times I may find myself falling into sin without honestly wanting to fall into sin.

This could be what Paul means when he writes in Romans 7:15, "For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate."

When God gives me understanding of what is behind my behavior, the root of it, I, along with God's strength, can yank that root out of my soul and be free of it.

When we don't understand ourselves, we can't discern these noxious roots.

Through understanding, when we are free of them, we become more and more the people God created us to be.

This is one of the things Paul is talking about when he writes in Philippians 1:6, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in your will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Psalm 138:8a says, "The LORD will accomplish what concerns me;"

That "me" is you. That "me" is me. That "me" is everyone who turns to God and seeks Him.

This year think about seeking God daily in all you do. Let Him give you understanding of Himself, of others, of life, of yourself. Your life will be richer and filled with freedom and peace. What a year God has planned for us all!

What a mess it would be

12/27/2018

You'd think I would have learned about emotional boundaries before the age of 50. I've heard of them before but never really gave them much attention. I guess I have establised boundaries but recently I acually wrote them down in my journal.

If God got caught up in all the drama everywhere, if He got caught up in our emotions, just think what a mess this world would be! Some of us humans get caught up in other people's emotions a lot. It can happen to us parents with our kids. It can happen with kids with their parents or their friends. It can happen when we forget where we end and another person begins emotionally (this really does happen). This is why we need to set boundaries because when we try to "fix" other people's emotions we are trying to do something that we weren't designed to do.

Emotions are personal. I choose what my emotions do to me. I choose to feel a certain way. Sure, sometimes we are in reactionary mode and a feeling can overwhelm us, but that doesn't mean we have to allow that emotion to rule us for any longer than it takes for the recognition to happen.

There's a cool quote by Bruce Lee going around Facebook. Lee supposedly said, "You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass."

Sure, we like to make other people happy. And there is nothing wrong with trying. The problem comes when we take responsibility for other people's emotions and reactions. We can give them opportunity. That's it. We can give blesings and love and relationship. What they do with what we give is up to them.

We can't control other people's worlds. We can't control our own world.

Is your identity or self-worth based on how those you love feel about you? If so, you are in a bad place. You have self-worth because God chose you. He sent His Son to conquer death and sin for you. You are His creation. This is what gives you worth. I am one who loves when people are pleased with me and love me, but I can't live for that. You can't either if you want to stay sane.

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

It's all about love

12/24/2018

Last night Father God gave me what I wanted for Christmas -- all my children (including my son-in-law) and husband laughing together and enjoying each other's company. It was absolutely lovely. And precious. Thank you Father!

Another gift: today is sunny and 45 degrees where I live, warm enough to sit outside at my picnic table with my coffee, journal and Bible. I had on a pair of coveralls and read and thought about Luke 2:4-20:

"Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, 5 in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child. 6 While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. 7 And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a [d]manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
8 In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; 11 for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is [e]Christ the Lord. 12 This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a [f]manger.”13 And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
14 “Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace among men [g]with whom He is pleased.”
15 When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.” 16 So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the [h]manger. 17 When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. 18 And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. 19 But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart. 20 The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them."

And I remembered that Christmas is all about Love. God can't love us anymore than He does. And I thought of the hours and days and weeks and months and years I wasted not feeling loved. Why do we do that? Why do we judge ourselves by unreasonable standards? Or why do we allow others to condemn us? Or why do we compare ourselves and feel inadequate when all the time the reality of it is is that we are loved. It has nothing to do with us being adequate. Of course we're inadequate! Yet, we are so loved. We are loved beyond imagining. And when Jesus came to earth in that little baby body it was the ultimate expression of love. He came to us in a form we can understand. He came to us so we could finally understand (at least a little bit) His eternal love for us.

Thank you Him today and tomorrow for His love. Thank Him for His Faithfulnes. Thank Him for loving you, for loving me, for loving everyone.

Merry Christmas!

A little bit scary, a whole lot of hopefulness

12/20/2018

I was reading in Revelation today (which in itself is a little bit scary and hopeful) and I came across this verse:

"Pay her back even as she has paid, and give back to her double acccording to her deeds." Revelation 18:6a

This reminded me of the spiritual principle found in Galatians 6:7, "whatever a man sows, this he will also reap."

In everything we do we are sowing seeds in the spiritual realm (this is where it is scary and hopeful). If you've ever planted a seed, you know what comes up from that seed is a whole lot bigger than the original seed.

"That which you sow does not come to life unless it dies; and that which you sow, you do not sow the body which is to be . . . God gives it a body just as He wished, and to each of the deeds a body of its own." 1 Corinthians 15:36-38

If we sow evil things we will reap an evil harvest. If we sow good things we will reap a good harvest. Evil cannot turn into good and good will not turn into evil.

Even the world says, "What goes around, comes around," but I don't think most of us take that seriously. Or maybe it is that we just forget because we are living reactional lives rather than intentional lives.

Maybe that's the key -- choosing to live intentionally rather than reactionally (is that a word. . . well, it is today).

All we do and say and think have eternal consequences (for good or bad).

We don't know how much we will reap from any one action, word or thought. We just know we will reap more than we sowed. This brings to mind a C.S. Lewis quote (which I will end with -- it is a bit lengthy but it was all so good):

"It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbor.deeply about that of his neighbor . . . It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare.
"All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations.
"It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal." C.S. Lewis

It takes a lifetime to unlearn it all

12/16/2018

It takes God 31 verses in Genesis 1 to create our world and the ones who live in it. In verse three He creates light. He made the sky in another verse. In following verses He makes land and plants and fruit trees and the sun and the moon and the stars, etc etc, etc.

Have you ever wondered why He didn't just make it all at once? He could have. Jesus tells us in Matthew 19:26, "with God all things are possible."

I'll tell you what I think. I think God creates in steps because He loves the process. He loves to create. He finds great joy in seeing things unfold. Of course God has an end result in mind, but the process is just as important. And this is something we humans don't understand naturally.

We get so eager to get results. We get so impatient to have answers. We want to do it right the first time all the time. We want instantaneous outcomes. Our entire lives are a process of unlearning our tendency to want things now. God has to retrain us into His way of thinking. Think about it. No matter how old we are we are going to have to wait for something. This can't be a coincidence! We start learning to wait as a baby. We want our food now. We want to be held now. Even the most attentive of parents can't satisfy their newborn baby immediately all the time.

The older we get the longer we have to wait for things. Remember what you would be feeling a week before Christmas when you were a litttle kid? You couldn't wait! You couldn't wait to rip into the presents and see what you were given. '

Every stage of life has its own waiting. If we ever catch on, we learn to wait well. We learn that God is using the waiting time to do His work. The process time is when some of His most intricate and important work is done.

This is what creativity is -- a process. We are made in God's image so this means we all have it in us to create in some way. And the world will be a better place if we do this. But we shouldn't do it just for results. We should do it to enjoy the process like God does. If God does it, it must be a good thing.

I don't know where you're at this Christmas. I know some of us have experienced horrendous tragedy this year. Others of us might have had a very ordinary year with not much going on. Still others probably had a great year. No matter what this year was I pray that this Christmas will be a blessed one for you. I pray this Christmas will find you celebrating Jesus' birthday with grace and gratitude and kindness. I pray you will know how absolutely vital you are to God and His work here on earth. And I pray you will know that God desires to hang out with you -- to speak with you and to give you His strength.

Merry Christmas.

Symptoms don't lie

12/12/2018

I've been sitting here for the last several minutes researching stuff online while also checking my email every few minutes to see if anyone sent me a message. Hawk is in the other room sleeping on the floor. The dryer is running downstairs. I'm waiting to leave for our Dupree Christmas Celebration (which is later this afternoon). I hate when I find myself wasting time online in hopes of getting a message. It means I am wanting contact with someone (well, it means I hope my husband will send me a message and he does sometimes but he is a busy teacher and doesn't spend his time on the computer at school -- I can be such a silly person). Me spending excess time on the computer means I am not quite settled within. It means I'm looking outside myself for some kind of validation. It also means my dishes are done and I don't feel like reading or playing piano or cleaning or any other number of things I could be doing instead of what I'm doing.

I've been thinking about Christmas. I've been thinking about my adult children coming home. I've been praying that this will be the best Christmas ever because Christmas is such a good time to make some memories that will last for our time on earth. These interactions with each other are what make life worthwhile. They do for me anyway. When I think of our Christmas Celebration tonight in the little town of Dupree, I pray God's presence would be there. I pray that people will sense His presence. I pray thoughtful and generous and loving conversations will take place. I pray that all the people who attend will feel loved.

Our church will have a booth there -- just to be a light. Will it make a difference? I don't know. We just can do what we can do and leave all the results to God. Like this post. I'm writing because I wanted to write even though I really don't have much to say. I just know God is so good to us and will sustain us no matter what happens in our lives. Lately, I've realized so much how Jesus is our Counselor. When I have an emotional issue I often feel first not understanding why I am feeling what I'm feeling. And then my Counselor (Jesus) gives me understanding. With understanding can come healing.

"For a child will be born to us, a Son will be given to us; And the government wil rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

"With Him are wisdom and might; To Him belong counsel and understanding." Job 12:13

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you." Psalm 32:8

If you're asking, 'What about me?"

12/8/2018

We all want to feel important. We all want to feel we are needed and appreciated. We all want to feel we matter.

There's nothing wrong with these feelings. They are God given. We all are important and needed and appreciated. And we all matter. God doesn't create people because He had nothing better to do. He creates intentionally and with love and joy and hope.

There's a problem with wanting to feel important and needed and appreciated and knowing we matter though. The problem comes when we think, "Hey, what about me?"

We won't always be included in activiies and events. The light will be on others. There will be times that we are left while others are doing some big "important" work. In these times we might start saying to ourselves, "What about me? How come I can't______? How come people don't have time for me? Me? Me?"

If we continue with this line of thought we are going to find ourselves in a huge pity party. We will miss opportunities God wants to give us. We will miss the blessing because we are stuck inside ourselves saying, "I'm important too!"

I did this yesterday (And I'm kicking myself today -- which I shouldn't do. Okay, I'll stop right now). I missed an opportunity to bless and encourage others because I was having a pity party. I am thanking God He got me out of it pretty quickly and kept me from doing any damage to those I love. His grace is amazing. His mercy is profound. And so thankfully and lovingly, He didn't condemn me. He just showed me my sin and got me back on track.

If you find yourself in a pity party, exit immediately. Don't even say goodbye to the host. Leave and ask God to shake all evidence of this party off you.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1