Okay, folk, I want to talk to you about compliments -- those things we say to make someone happy. I want to talk about certain compliments that can be used by the enemy and our own flesh to plant seeds of insecurity and can even lead to eating disorders.
When people say to a person, "You are so cute because you are tiny" or "You have lost so much weight. You look really good" those thoughts will go in the recipients' heads and tell them I need to be a certain weight or I need to stay really skinny to be cute, to look good.
Let's quit giving compliments about weight. Weight change. Sometimes it can be for medical reasons that weight has changed. Or maybe it is to a teenager you say is so cute because she is so little -- we all know (unless you are one of those people who can't gain weight no matter what) that that teenager will gain weight as she gets older. Will she feel like she has to constantly be on a diet to get back to her high school weight? What kind of life is that? Especially when that weight will be elusive and be so hard to maintain?
Instead, let's compliment someone's smile or just say, "You look gorgeous" or compliment someone's outfit or compliment their eyes. Or tell them they look healthy and full of life and beautiful.
Why is our society so focused on weight? We are not our weights. Weight could be limited to medical appointments. Your doctor can monitor your weight to make sure there is nothing wrong with your health. And at home if your clothes have gotten a bit tight and you know you might have gained some weight that isn't healthy, you do something about it (without condemnation). But it shouldn't be the focus of your life.
Okay, I got on this rant because I've seen this happen to my youngest. She is a short, small person. And she is very cute. And I know she hears all the time how cute she is because of her size. And I see seeds of temporary confidence being planted in her about her cuteness being about her weight. She enjoys the attention, but I see the long-term so of course she has to endure a talk from me about the dangers of focusing on weight.
Briefly, my story from a super long time ago (and yes, we had electricity and color television and cars and telephones): I started dieting in fourth grade. I heard those comments about how tiny I was in grade school. I liked the comments so I wanted to keep it up. I became obsessed with food and not eating to where it got bad in high school and college. I never got to a dangerously low weight but I messed up my health pretty bad. After nine years God delivered me from those obsessive thoughts surrounding the prison of what to eat or not eat and excessive exercise.
I don't want that for my daughters. I don't want that for my sons. I don't want that kind of mental prison for anyone at all. And this is what focusing on weight can do to people.
Food and drink are gifts to be enjoyed by our Creator. We should be able to enjoy all food and drink as blessings from Father God without them becoming our taskmasters. If something you ingest is controlling you then you need to do something about that. Or if it is doing bad things to your health then you probably should limit it. But otherwise as the writer of Ecclesiastes says 5:18, "Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of life which God has given him; for this is his reward."
And Paul says in 1 Corithians 10:31, "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
When people say to a person, "You are so cute because you are tiny" or "You have lost so much weight. You look really good" those thoughts will go in the recipients' heads and tell them I need to be a certain weight or I need to stay really skinny to be cute, to look good.
Let's quit giving compliments about weight. Weight change. Sometimes it can be for medical reasons that weight has changed. Or maybe it is to a teenager you say is so cute because she is so little -- we all know (unless you are one of those people who can't gain weight no matter what) that that teenager will gain weight as she gets older. Will she feel like she has to constantly be on a diet to get back to her high school weight? What kind of life is that? Especially when that weight will be elusive and be so hard to maintain?
Instead, let's compliment someone's smile or just say, "You look gorgeous" or compliment someone's outfit or compliment their eyes. Or tell them they look healthy and full of life and beautiful.
Why is our society so focused on weight? We are not our weights. Weight could be limited to medical appointments. Your doctor can monitor your weight to make sure there is nothing wrong with your health. And at home if your clothes have gotten a bit tight and you know you might have gained some weight that isn't healthy, you do something about it (without condemnation). But it shouldn't be the focus of your life.
Okay, I got on this rant because I've seen this happen to my youngest. She is a short, small person. And she is very cute. And I know she hears all the time how cute she is because of her size. And I see seeds of temporary confidence being planted in her about her cuteness being about her weight. She enjoys the attention, but I see the long-term so of course she has to endure a talk from me about the dangers of focusing on weight.
Briefly, my story from a super long time ago (and yes, we had electricity and color television and cars and telephones): I started dieting in fourth grade. I heard those comments about how tiny I was in grade school. I liked the comments so I wanted to keep it up. I became obsessed with food and not eating to where it got bad in high school and college. I never got to a dangerously low weight but I messed up my health pretty bad. After nine years God delivered me from those obsessive thoughts surrounding the prison of what to eat or not eat and excessive exercise.
I don't want that for my daughters. I don't want that for my sons. I don't want that kind of mental prison for anyone at all. And this is what focusing on weight can do to people.
Food and drink are gifts to be enjoyed by our Creator. We should be able to enjoy all food and drink as blessings from Father God without them becoming our taskmasters. If something you ingest is controlling you then you need to do something about that. Or if it is doing bad things to your health then you probably should limit it. But otherwise as the writer of Ecclesiastes says 5:18, "Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of life which God has given him; for this is his reward."
And Paul says in 1 Corithians 10:31, "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
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