Those who love you (and hate you) and the world at large needs you to choose God. To choose to live for Jesus Christ and let the freedom He offers you guide you even if it is hard to do.
Think of Jonah. He ran from God and put the whole ship and the sailors in danger.
And then in Jeremiah 42 God tells the people not to go to Egypt, to stay and live by faith where He calls them to live. They didn't listen and they brought destruction onto Egypt.
"'God has plainly told you . . . 'Don't go to Egypt.'" Jeremiah 42:19
(Just FYI, Egypt in scripture often refers to the world system)
"Nothing is more difficult than living by faith -- living spontaneously, living hopefully, living virtuously...it's always easier to live by sight than by faith where verything is certain and clear and all the loose ends have been tied up." Eugene H. Peterson
This morning God was talking about having a fluid lifestyle -- how I am learning how to live like this. A couple definitions of fluid are: "characterized by or employing a smooth easy style" and "Available for various uses."
Yes, this relates. We Christians can fall so easily into a dos and don'ts kind of lifestyle thinking we are living a life of faith if we do certain things and don't do certain other things. But this isn't a life of faith. It might just look like we are "good" people according to our own expectations. But that isn't freedom. That isn't living a spiritual life. And it is this superficial faith that comes up short.
I guess I am all over the place right now but I hope you are hearing from God. Life isn't about rules. Life is about a deep, growing relationship with Jesus Christ and others.