So then how come there's still an emotional knot in your chest sucking you dry?
Did you know that your brain isn't the only part of you that thinks? Cells throughout the body have their own thoughts in a way.
And they might be betraying you.
Sometimes they know things you don't. Those other parts of you know you better than you know yourself. Maybe they have a line to the subconscious?
I'm not sure but I do know that I had that knot but I didn't know what it was from. I was and am doing that first paragraph, but as I was doing this the knot kept getting heavier and bigger and suckier.
I'm pretty sure God was trying to show me what was going on but it took a two hour car ride and tears leaking out before I knew what it was about. I'm one of those people who feel before I understand why I feel what I feel. Like, I might be feeling angry but have no clue as to what I am angry about. It takes me time to reconcile my feelings with my thoughts. It does happen. And when it does freedom follows or is in the process of taking hold of me. As Jesus says in John 8, "you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (okay, a side note here -- that is kind of taking the verse out of context but the power of it is still there and in a roundabout way it is perfectly in context)."
Even though I knew better that rapidly growing knot (or more like a rapidly growing rock) was worry! I know better! I know not to worry. I wasn't with my brain. But some part of me was worrying. If you know what's going on in my life you might think you know what I was worrying about. We are in the process of moving and selling our place and gaining new employment and health insurance -- a whole lot of unknowns.
The amazing thing is that I'n not worried about those unknowns. I know God has called us to Dupree, SD. When God calls us to do something He takes care of us. He makes sure we have what we need to do His work (which includes taking care of our families).
What I was worrying about (and still have to fight) is the choices my adult children will make (or not make). I've realized it is so darn hard to just let them fly off without trying to fly for them. Obviously, flying for them won't work. It will just frustrate them and me. It will hinder their growth and hurt our relationship.
When birds begin to fly they fall. They stumble. It's part of the process. Parent birds know their offspring will fall, and they let them. Parent birds are smart enough to give their offspring space to learn to fly. I need to do the same.
So, how do you know if your body is betraying you? Worrying for you? Ask yourself these questions:
Is your body carrying unnecessary tension?
Does your immune system seem weak?
Are you feeling heavy inside?
Do you have a short fuse or do you feel emotionally spent for no apparent reason?
Are you always tired?
Does everything feel like drudgery?
If you said yes to any of those questions, spend some time in prayer and the Bible. Ask God to reveal any hidden worry you might have. He'll do it. He doesn't want you to carry this kind of thing around. He wants you free.