Category: Marriage

Meddling Mothers -- We Really Shouldn't

10/29/2016

We mothers (and mothers-in-law) get a bad name for meddling in our adult children's lives. Sometimes the bad name isn't warranted. Sometimes it is. I will say that very likely even when we are officially meddling it is done out of love. Because we mothers think we know best. And I am pretty sure in every mother there is a cell or two that thinks it knows better than God does when it comes to our kids. Oh yes, I just wrote that.

But ladies, we're wrong (and they are God's kids more than they are ours).

We might think we know what's best, but often our vision is clouded by our desire to see our kids have a problem-free, less-suffering-than-we-did life. Neither of those desires are in the Bible. First, no one has a problem-free life. And second, everyone is going to suffer no matter where life takes them. Why would we want to choose what kind of suffering our child will deal with?

Plans change. What we thought was in our children's futures just might not be there. And that's okay.

Here's what's important -- that our children grow to accept Christ and love and serve Him in all they do. They learn Father God is really, really good -- better than we can understand. And they learn to follow Him wherever He leads. They learn to listen to the Spirit. They read their Bibles. If they do all this, they will have an incredible life -- the life God created them to have.

Jesus says in John 15:16-17, "You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you. This I command you, that you love one another."

And now for your viewing pleasure, here is a clip from one of the most famous meddling mothers of TV land. In the clip below she's giving good advice (not her usual behavior) to her sons and their wives. Enjoy! Marie Barone is one of my favorite characters.

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Submission isn't slavery

5/5/2014

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Ladies, submission doesn't mean slavery.

Submission doesn't mean you don't think for yourselves.

Submission doesn't mean you believe everything you are told.

Submission doesn't mean you allow into yourself mental and emotional abuse.

Here it is: someone has to be the final say. And the way it is supposed to work is that a husband's authority is a protection for the wife, not like a master and slave, but like two equal partners with the one in charge acknowledging his responsibility to keep his wife safe and always thinking what is in her best interest. She is not his child, but his partner who is more valuable than anyone else or anything in his life.

We are told to respect our husbands and the husbands are told to love their wives like Christ loved the church. He gave His life for His bride (and not when we, the members of His bride were so good...when we were rotten and could care less about being saved).

But I've seen women who in the name of submission believe lies about themselves, believe themselves to be worthless in the name of being submissive.

That's not submission. Those kinds of interactions resemble the devil's tactics.

Let's look at some verses used so often in this submission subject (I'll start with the verse before):

""For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior."
2 Peter 2:25, 3:1-2

Often we focus on what Pete is telling the wives to do, but what is it saying about some of the husbands? Pete is saying that THEY ARE WRONG. THEY ARE NOT IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD'S WORD.

Pete tells us not to say anything about it, not to nag because men don't like being told what to do. He says to just continue on pleasing God with your own actions.

Don't allow anyone (including those closest to you) to control you emotionally or mentally. If your mood and your self esteem are being decided by someone else's actions or words, recognize this and realize this isn't from God. You were bought with a price. You are precious. You are lovely. You are God's!

Don't lash back. That won't do you any good. Love your husband but don't believe lies. Love him as Jesus loves him.

This goes for your relationships with other people. Love them but don't enable them to live sinfully.

I didn't even touch on physical abuse -- just know that turning the other cheek doesn't mean Jesus condones physical abuse. That turning the other cheek verse (Matthew 5:39) is in context I believe talking about Christian persecution -- being insulted in the name of Christ. We aren't supposed to lower ourselves to insults and bad behavior of those who are against us because we stand for Jesus. We love them and shine for Jesus.

OK, I'm getting off my soap box. Women, you are precious and treasured. Men, you are too. I am definitely not a man hater -- oh, I love my Man! And I love my sons (one is a man now and my two stepsons are men too) and I love all the men in my life.

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28

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This is how to do it

8/11/2013

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Love.

Loving your spouse.

Sometimes it is so easy. Before marriage -- when two are in the throes of love and feelings and desire and those moments you feel like you're just going to die if you can't be with that person -- doing it right comes easy.

Sometimes it isn't so easy.

During times of marriage -- when you disagree and emotions flare out of control, when there isn't enough time or money or sleep or we forget why we got married in the first place -- then it can be hard to do it right.

This is how you do it -- Love without any expectations.

Love so much that your spouse knows that he knows that he knows he is loved and admired by you, that he is your man and you are proud of him.

Love so much that your spouse knows that she knows that she knows you absolutely cherish her and adore her and love to be with her, that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you.

There are times we all get it wrong.

But don't let those moments define the rest of your relationship. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Give your spouse grace. Don't take offense. Figure out how your spouse feels loved the most, and do that. What makes her feel loved? What makes him feel like the MAN? If you think about it you can figure out the answer.

Proverbs 18:22 says,
"A man’s greatest treasure
is his wife--
she is a gift from the Lord."

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He Kept My Mouth Shut

10/9/2012

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"Deal bountifully with Thy servant,
That I may live and keep Thy word." Psalm 119:17

I have a praise this morning. God kept my mouth shut! That is a miracle. For years ago I probably would have whined and pouted and acted like a toddler rather than a woman.

This morning at breakfast, the time when Shannon and I sit together, he read to himself. He was reading good stuff -- a Bible study we are doing at church.

But I was full of pity. He's been so busy that we have not spent much time together and so when he took our morning and used it for something else I wanted to scream.

Thankfully I didn't...What would that have accomplished?

Instead, somehow God got me to thank Him in prayer for all the good things Shannon has been doing lately. He's now a volunteer firefighter so has been going to training on Tuesday nights and every other Saturday. He's fought three fires in the last week or so (it is so dry in South Dakota and now during harvest, sparks from the combines can cause a field to burn quickly).

He's been teaching at church. He preaches at other churches. He has been working hard at the Law Enforcement Academy helping some struggling officers with their testing. He's been doing some very good things.

And all I could think of was myself today.

God got my eyes off me and back to where they need to be.

He's good like that. Oh, God is so good. I pray you experience His goodness today.

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Meddling Mothers -- We Really Shouldn't

Submission isn't slavery

This is how to do it

He Kept My Mouth Shut

Who is Jane Hinrichs?

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