(Jesus never said not to confront, but confrontation must be done in humbleness and love.)
Anyway, back to honesty. The kind of honesty I'm talking about is honesty about yourself. It takes courage to be honest about yourself. And putting yourself down isn't honesty. It's condemnation. Don't do that either. Scripture addresses this bad practice too. Romans 8:1 states,"Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
If Jesus doesn't condemn you, neither should you condemn yourself.
What I'm talking about is sharing your failings, your faults and learning from them. Being vunerable in a constructive way. Do you know how much it encourages others to hear you tell them what you've had trouble with and how you're growing and learning from it?
When we don't have courage to just tell it like it is inside us, then we give off a feeling to some that we have it all together (I know I don't! And if you do, you really ought to start teaching classes to the rest of us).
I'm not saying we are trying to appear this way, but by not speaking out about reality in us when we should, we are giving this off. I know because of what I've heard from others.
First, one friend told me when she goes to Christian woman retreats she often leaves feeling rotten about herself because she feels like a "bad" Christian. Every retreat I've ever been at does not teach that but unfortunately if we women aren't honest some can walk away with that thought
Second, a peer said he almost came to church but decided not to because he knew his life was really messy and he sinned and was not living a good life. The one who was talking to him said, "No! We will welcome you just as you are. Please attend next time. Please."
(That wasn't a direct quote but that was the gist of it.)
I know it takes strength and courage and getting over all your insecurities. God knows this too but He doesn't give us any excuse not to. He says in Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commande you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
What's the worst that can happen? People laugh at you? So what! But I don't think that will happen. What often happens is that your sharing will give others courage to share what's inside them. This is where we get that wonderful incredible Spirit fellowship. Psalm 133 talks specificaly about this. It's short so I will copy and paste the entire psalm below:
Psalm 133Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)133 (0) A song of ascents. By David:
(1) Oh, how good, how pleasant it is
for brothers to live together in harmony.
2 It is like fragrant oil on the head
that runs down over the beard,
over the beard of Aharon,
and flows down on the collar of his robes.
3 It is like the dew of Hermon
that settles on the mountains of Tziyon.
For it was there that Adonai ordained
the blessing of everlasting life.
Let me give you an example. Let's say you have a problem of overeating. You don't just love food (which is a good thing), but you eat it like it is your addiction. You eat to feel a certain way. You eat when you're insecure, bored, sad, depressed, angry, etc. You know you eat for the wrong reasons. You're embarrassed about it so you don't share this, but then this food addiction just gets worse because a sin hidden in the dark will grow. Sin feeds on the darkness.
So, let's say you are finally are fed up with its control over you. You finally speak up in Sunday School School when there is a discussion about struggles. You say, "I eat too much. I eat for the wrong reasons. Could you pray for me?"
By the way, food addiction is rampant through our society. If a person shares about it I can almost guarantee someone else will say, "Would you pray for me too about that?"
Why hide our problems? Again, it must at the right time and in an appropriate way. We don't have to share everything. All those nasty details can be between you and God; but if you share, light can get through that darkness and it will begin to shrink. Sometimes it is suddenly eradicated. But if not, that is okay. You now have brothers and sisters praying for you.
Think about it. Then later you can share how you have victory over it.
That would be a very good thing in so many ways.