Category: Grace - Jane Hinrichs

So not cool

7/26/2018

I know this is so not cool, so politically incorrect, even anti-everything-good, but it is how I feel at times and during those times I just don't know how to get over myself.

Sometimes I'm tired of being a mom. How can I say that? I have great kids. I have learned a lot from them and grown as a person. My oldest turns 23 next month and my life would not be my life if it weren't for my kids. But still, it's true.

And I feel lousy about feeling this way because you see all these moms all over the net talking about how wonderful it is to be a mom and how their lives are complete just getting kisses from their kids and doing things with their kids and looking beautiful with their kids. And I think, what's wrong with me? How can I not find fulfillment in being a mom, the role God ordained for me; the role He blessed me with; the role that is more important than most anything else I can do in life?

Maybe it's a phase. Maybe it's a season of life. Maybe it's cause I'm 50.

Honestly, it's probalby none of those things. It's probably because I'm human.

Uggg. I sometimes hate being human. I will never understand how God loves us humans so darn much!

Yet, I remember that "there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

Even when we grow tired of our blessings, God doesn't condemn us. He doesn't kick us and tell us to shape up. He doesn't even get disgusted wtih us.

He just tells us to look up. To look to Him. He's been the Parent for a very, very long time and never grows tired of it. He can give us that love and endurance and encouragement we need when we get weary.

"The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and o him who lacks might He increases power." Isaiah 40:28-29

"Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we received mercy, we do not lose heart." 2 Corinthians 4:1

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed." 2 Corinthians 9:8

There's always mercy

8/8/2017

There is a story in the Bible that has always bothered me a bit. It's the one in Mark 5 where Jesus frees a man from demonic possession and sends the demons into 2000 pigs that end up running into the sea and drowning. Before today I thought, those poor pigs. But what if it was merciful for the pigs to drown?

What if drowning was a better death than what was waiting for them in town?

And then I'd think about the livelihood of the person who lost 2000 pigs. But if someone has 2000 pigs they've got to be wealthy. So, what if this wealthy person controlled that town? What if hitting him hard financially for a time eased up the pressure on the town folk?

Of course I don't know if any of this is even close to the truth, but I know that Father God is a merciful God and Jesus is just like Our Father. So there must be mercy in this story for more than just the demon-possessed man.

For God is like that. Our stories, our lives affect not just us. He sees how something in one person's life will affect her family, her church, her community and there's mercy there for those that need it.

Even in horrible situations God meets us where we're at. He never leaves us alone to deal with tragedy. But it doesn't have to be tragedy. It could be as simple as one spouse being grumpy and yelling at the other spouse for no reason. When something like that happens the natural human reaction is to yell back. But God will give mercy to both spouses to stop the anger, to not react but to respond in love.

In your dealings today look for God's mercy. When you find it grab hold it of it and share. You might just turn someone's life around with one small gesture or word.

Give yourself grace

6/22/2017

We get used to ourselves behaving in a certain way. We know our limits. We know what we can and can't do. We get into routines with ourselves.

But then something changes. We have an injury. We get sick. Our brains aren't able to focus. Maybe we are immobile. Maybe we're tiring easily because of health reasons.

Whatever the cause sometimes our bodies and brains can't do what they normally can do. When this happens we can get very frustrated with ourselves. The enemy will tell you what a failure you are.

We gotta give ourselves grace in these times. We aren't machines (even if we were, they break down too). Our bodies and brains will go through seasons just as earth does. Our job is to recognize this and give ourselves grace. Jesus never condemns us. He doesn't love us because we can do certain things or perform in certain ways. He loves us because He loves us.

Are you frustrated with yourself because you just can't do it? Let go of the frustration. If it were someone else you'd give them grace. You'd tell them it is okay. You'd tell them to be gentle with themselves. Do the same for yourself.

I write this because I'm having difficulty concentrating. And normally this is one of my strengths. Normally I can read and read and soak stuff in but I really can't right now. I just sit in front of my Bible and Journal and write things like, "I don't know what to write" or "I'm just sitting here."

I write these sentences hoping it will spur me on to write more, but it doesn't. Things I normally would find easy to understand are difficult presently. It may be the summer season. It may be the difference in routine because of summer vacation. It may be my medication. It may be just because it is.

So, I'm going to give myself grace.

I pray you will give yourself (and others) grace too.

A need for a bell

5/6/2016

Have you seen the movie Tangled? My favorite character is Maximus. That's the horse. The creator of the animated film wanted a dog instead of a horse but his idea got vetoed. Glad of that because Max is funny!

See this horse on the left? That's Andi. Andi is a lot like Max. Andi follows you around like a big dog. Andi understands English. I'm sure of it. I'm sure all my horses do.

But we need a bell.

We very much need a bell.

See, presently that green grass is looking so beautiful and I know my horses need some -- want some. The lot they are in needs to grow back but hasn't yet. So I will let out a couple of them to graze for two hours or so. They love it. When they see me walking toward them with a couple of halters they wait patiently to see who will be chosen.

A couple of days ago it was Andi and Princess.

After an hour or so I went inside. They wouldn't go anywhere. They'd stay together. Horses do that.

It was time to bring them in. There was Princess happily munching away. She gave me no resistance (which made me quite proud of her -- she would rather stay on the grass). And then it was time to bring Andi in.

Where was she?

I started walking. I looked in the little grove of trees -- two groves actually. I looked on the driveway. I looked in the neighboring fields.

Nothing.

How can you lose a large black and white animal?

Last year this horse got out and walked for probably 30 miles until we found her! But that was different -- hormones and fear of another horse was what drove her.

I kept looking.

Still nothing.

And then the other horses noticed my frustration. They saw me going back and forth, calling Andi's name. And so they started whinnying. A minute later Andi comes galloping out of nowhere and right in front of me.

I still have no idea where she was hiding. She wasn't far away for it didn't take her long to answer the call. So, I think I need a bell -- a big cowbell to put around her neck. That will help me find her if it happens again. I've not let her out since.

Watch this video (see below). It shows Andi's personality perfectly (the part when Rapunzel is talking to Max). Plus, it might make you smile.

It's a new day

3/17/2016

What we usually eat on this day.

It's St. Patrick's Day. If you're Irish or if you wish were Irish or if you just like to celebrate, you know it's St. Patrick's Day.

A song comes to mind when I wrote "It's a New Day."

The song by Michael Buble called Feeling Good (Mr. Buble has one of those accent marks on the second syllable but I don't know how to put it there. If you don't know him his last name is pronounced Boo-Blay with accent on second syllable). Here's the video (it's not a new song but it sure is a good one):

(And really that song has nothing to do with what I'm writing about but it is such a fun song!)

What St. Patrick's Day means to my family is a great Corned Beef and Cabbage meal.

Well, as I wrote above, it's a new day.

Because on the Cheyenne River Reservation, there is no corned beef to be had.

And there's no cabbage.

There isn't a big need for these items up here (well, I'm sure cabbage is available sometimes). So, we're having a psuedo-corned beef and cabbage meal (roast beef, potatoes, carrots and coleslaw mix fried). And we'll have an Irish Apple Cake. My family won't care that much. It will still be good.

What a glorious March God has blessed us with. If don't know St. Patrick's story it's a good one to know. Click here to read about him. In Ireland this is a religious holiday. In America, it's a party. We could put those two things together. Jesus Himself loved to have a good time. His critics called Jesus "a gluttonous man, and a drunkard, a friend of tax-gatherers and sinners!" (Luke 7:34).

Sometimes we Believers get a bit too stuffy. And sometimes we can end up like the Pharisees, Jesus's critics -- we think if people are doing certain things (whatever we disapprove of) then there is no way they can go to heaven. It isn't about what we do. We aren't here to be spiritual police. Jesus isn't trying to keep people out of heaven. He made the way simple -- Believe in Him. Grab hold of Him and don't let go. Believe His words and act on them. Turn from the life you're living and embrace His way of life. He calls to us all -- to the weary, the burdened, the stepped-upon. He says, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light." Matthew 11:28-30

We aren't called to do the Holy Spirit's job. We are called to proclaim His word, the love people into the kingdom. Easter is coming when we celebrate Jesus's victory over death and sin and the enemy. Praise God. Invite someone to church.

What if we flipped it?

9/19/2015

What if we flipped it? Flipped our perspective on that one situation that keeps hounding us?

What if, instead of thinking when we are dealing with a difficulty, that God is trying to teach us something -- what if instead He is trying to get us to unlearn something?

What if He continues to allow similar situations into our lives, not because we are so hard-headed and refuse to do better, but because He is willing for us to misunderstand as long as it takes for us to realize our view of Him is wrong? That we, in fact, don't understand how much He loves us?

That, as some say, His love is scandalous and He desperately wants us to embrace this love of His? Embrace Him as a really radical crazy-in-love with us kind of Father who will do anything to get us right with Him?

Oh sure we all know God loves us, but do we really understand how deep and broad and infinite and amazing that love is? I think if we grasped a tiny fraction of it we'd fall in a faint and just lay there from the sheer amazingness of it all.

God isn't shaking a finger at you.

God isn't keeping a tally of your wrongs.

God isn't threatening you or teaching you a lesson.

He's loving you and urging you to accept His scandalous love, His scandalous grace.

Open our eyes Lord so we can see this amazing love you are giving us.

How An Idiot Almost Died on Mount Whitney

10/8/2014

I asked Author and Writer Michael K. Reynolds if I could repost his blog post today. He said yes so it is below. I wanted to repost it because it applies to all of us and it is such an incredible illustration of God's grace and forgiveness, and how sometimes we just have to go back the way we came to experience it. Thank you Michael for letting me repost this. Enjoy!

(Above: the first link is to Michael's author page at Amazon where you can buy one or all of his really good books. And the second link is to his website.)

How An Idiot Almost Died On Mount Whitney

Posted on October 7, 2014 by Michael K. Reynolds

I almost died on Mount Whitney.

It’s the tallest peak in the Continental United States at 14,505 feet and the trail to the summit offers a spectacular ascent through Sierra Nevada grandeur. Majestic granite cathedrals rise to the sky as you traverse through scenery alternating with fern-strewn pathways and monstrous boulders scattered just as marbles shot by God’s fingers.

I was on assignment, working an outdoor story for the newspaper I was writing for at the time. My friends and I woke at 3 a.m. to set out early after only arriving at our motel room the night before at midnight. It didn’t matter. We were all as fit as mountain goats and wanted to throw our youth at the Behemoth that stood in the way of our triumph.

Everything started off so wonderfully. We were merrily set upon our plan and reveling in our own strength, passing others with arrogance as if they were merely broken limbs in the way.

That is, until I started to slowly fall behind the herd, the limping antelope, as a mysterious lion approached in the distance.

It turns out 50 percent of the human race are susceptible to altitude sickness and most don’t discover this until they reach 12,000 feet.

Nearly precisely at this point of the journey I discovered I was part of the unfortunate few. Not only was I among those who suffer from altitude sickness…but I was one of those who get it bad.

Altitude sickness is literally a swelling of the brain…nothing to be taken lightly, and by the time I was 1,000 feet short of the summit, I was reduced to traveling ten feet at time, looking like a drunk sailor after an extended shore leave.

My head pulsed. I was chilled. My breathing was heavy. My vision blurred. But…I pressed on. Because I had something to prove.

By the time I got to the top, I was so nauseous I merely took one look to the left and then one glance to the right…and said, “I’m good.”

Little did I know how close I was to dying on that mountain. It was only later I learned I was perhaps moments away from suffering a fatal high altitude cerebral edema.

But there was one thing I learned right away at the peak. Reversing the errors of my ways was glorious.

Even after only descending 500 feet, I began to feel much better. Then after another 2,000 feet, my headache faded and I was springing back to life. By the time I had descended 4,000 feet below I was born again and was literally RUNNING down the hill.

It was a poor choice. For the mere bragging right of getting what I wanted at the moment, I risked the opportunity to ever have met my eventual wife, to forego the joy brought on by my future children.

Yet, despite my stupidity, the trip down the mountain provided the ultimate example of God’s forgiveness. No matter how idiotic I can be, and how stubbornly I press onward along the wrong path, healing is just a matter of admitting my mistake, and changing my course.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got lost in the weeds of many poor choices in my life. Yet through it all, the exhilaration of God’s incredible, inexplicable forgiveness was always there for me.

Are you in a place you shouldn’t be, heading on a course you know isn’t for you?

It’s never too late to make things right. To feel the revitalizing power of reconciliation with God. It is like being born again. Feeling whole, clean and healthy.

There is no mountain He can’t bring you safely down from, there is no healing beyond the strength of His hands.

Forgiveness and a new, life-filled trail awaits you. Are you ready to ask for it?

(Mount Whitney Photo by Zeimusu)

An Apology to All First-Borners and Middlers

9/15/2014

Okay, I'm not giving up. I just get a bit tired some mornings.

But I get it.

I really get it.

You hear first-born and middle children say often (and maybe you've said something like this if you fall into one of those categories), "You never let me do that when I was their age!"

Or, "How come 'Baby' gets away with everything!"

Sigh.

I apologize to all you First-Borners and Middlers for the obvious unfairness in the family. Yes, the babies get to do more. Yes, the babies get to do things earlier than you did. Yes, sometimes the babies get away with things you would NEVER have gotten away with. But there is a very good reason.

Your parents very likely just got tired.

So, if your baby sibling is a little more spoiled, if your baby sibling is just a little more animal-like than human, give your parents a little grace. All of us parents need grace.

This morning I wanted to give up.

And my kids weren't that bad. They were just being preteens/teens.

It was just one of the "babies" being a bit argumentative and the other "baby" being a bit grumpy. Nothing major. But it made me feel old.

Our Heavenly Father never gets tired thankfully. He parents us all perfectly (which shows that we can't blame all bad behavior on parents because sometimes we Believers act pretty poorly and it definitely isn't God's fault). He never tires. He is always there. He is always wise in His relations toward us.

"The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable." Isaiah 40:28

Hawk's ceiling fan challenge and eternity living

10/1/2013

Above is a picture of my son Hawken enjoying his ceiling fan. He will spend hours rocking to its constant rhythm. He enjoys its movement. Sometimes he shouts out loud in delight as he moves his body back and forth while his eyes do not leave the blades.

This may seem like a pointless way to spend his time, but it isn't.

It is an illustration of how God wants us to live.

By thoroughly enjoying a simple thing like a ceiling fan's movement, Hawken is living in the moment. He is living the one way we humans can live in eternity right now.

C.S.Lewis writes in The Screwtape Letters, "Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead."

The only way to look to the past while still living in the present is with gratitude -- gratitude to God for what you've learned; gratitude to God for what He's brought you through; gratitude to God for all the blessings He blessed you with.

How do you this with a tragedy you might ask?

My most recent tragedy would probably have to be losing my daughter last March. To not look at this memory through the eyes of gratitude would fill my heart with bitterness and anger. But to look at it with gratefulness I can remember my daughter with joy and hope and thankfulness for the years I was her mom here on earth.

And as Lewis writes about the future -- if we live our days, our minutes dwelling on what could be because we have nothing in the bank account (so we think -- how are we going to make it), or we dwell on a future investment that will come true (and we then neglect this present day); or we bemoan the fact we only have three months to live (instead of living each day as it comes for no one knows the day or hour of death no matter what doctors may say) -- all of these attitudes steal away your joy and present day.

We only have today. We only have this moment. That is what Jesus was trying to tell us in Matthew 6.

He says, "For this reason Is ay to you,do not be anxious for your life . . . For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Back the truck up!!!!

I'm not saying you don't plan.

I'm not saying you don't budget.

I'm not saying you live without wisdom.

You do.

But you do what you're called to do and leave the results to God. You don't worry. You live today. You enjoy today. You fully engage the minutes God gives you. You savor that cup of coffee. You see all the good stuff God has blessed you with. You enjoy that conversation. You laugh loud at that comedian you love so much.

You live fully.

Don't live any other way.

"The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.
John 10:10

The thief can take many forms. Worry and stress are two common ones. Don't let them into your life.

Jesus gives abundant life. You just gotta take it.

It made me happy

6/2/2013

Babe, elephant artist.

I think I've been doing fine with coping with the loss of my girl.

But I get different stories from my kids.

My oldest child, almost 18, asks me often, "Mom, are you happy? Mom, are you okay?"

And my youngest child, age 10, says to me, "Mom, you're living in a mountain of sorrow."

They say this stuff or ask these questions and I say, "Yes, I'm happy."

I'm not walking around crying. I'm doing the day stuff. I smile a bit. I'm reading. I'm doing the routine. I'm not neglecting my appearance (too much anyway) and my house is getting cleaner than it ever has been.

But when I was telling a friend about my children's concerns I realized that the lilacs blossoms didn't bring joy to my heart like they normally do. Usually the days of lilac blooms have me singing. I absolutely adore the way they look and the way they make the air smell. I am picking them and putting them in vases in my home. I even took some to church today to set on the piano during the service.

But they haven't made me giddy. I haven't drank in their sweetness.

There must be something to what my kids are talking about.

I'm trying.

I really am trying.

But guess what -- something today made me so happy. I felt it. I actually felt happiness.

I was thinking of my up and coming trip back to my parents' home with my two youngest children. There is a small local zoo there we will visit. I didn't think there were any elephants there anymore. There used to be one named Kathy Shaboom. I knew she must have died by now.

But my mom tells me, "Yes they have elephants. They have two."

That made me so happy! I love elephants. I absolutely love to see them live. When we go to the circus each year all I wait for is when the elephants enter the ring. We sit on the side where they walk in. I can reach out and touch them.

They make me so happy. I don't know why. I know it sounds silly. When they enter the circus arena I get a huge smile on my face. I can't help it.

AND, this zoo has giraffes and you can buy tickets to hand-feed them!

Thinking about these animals and knowing I'll get to be close to them soon is making me happy. I actually felt happy today. I smiled and laughed....oh it seems so silly that thinking about seeing these animals would bring me such joy.

But it does.

God is so good. He is so faithful. We just need to trust Him no matter what we are going through.

Even if we don't understand we can trust Him.

I love you Jesus!

We're going to feed giraffes this month!

Become one of them

6/1/2013

The roses are from my husband for our 19th wedding anniversary (it was May 28), and the lilacs are from some of my lilac bushes. They look good together. There's a thought there about differences together are beautiful....I don't know. You'll have to think on that.

This is my morning workspace.

It happened again -- I picked up a Bible study I bought several months ago that I began but didn't really affect me much. Now is the time for it. Now, when I am in a different spot. Life has become before Maggie died and after Maggie died. There is a thick black line between those two time periods.

Before Maggie died I must not have needed this study.

After Maggie died I do.

It is called Ruth: Relationships that bring life. It is written by Ruth Haley Barton.

I want to share a quote she shares in the study along with her introduction.

She writes, "The story of Ruth . . . illustrates the truth that when we stay faithful to our own spiritual journey, we ourselves change and become the kind of people who can bring lift to others -- even in the midst of very challenging circumstances."

"God expressed His spirituality by entering into human relationships, by living and dying as one of us. He practiced the presence of people by becoming one Himself. So too each one of us must find a way to join the human race, casting off our separateness and throwing in our lot with others." Mike Mason

This is seen so much in scripture -- this truth is weaved in and out of God's word.

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14

They didn't even mention it

2/25/2013

I read about Isaac and Jacob and Esau today.

You know what amazed me? The forgiveness of Isaac and Esau toward Jacob. Jacob deceived them big time. What he did was reprehensible.

After his lies and stealing of Esau's inheritance we see his dad Isaac sending him off. This is what Isaac says to him, "You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Paddan-aram, to the house of Bethuel your mother's father; and from there take to yourself a wife from the daughters of Laban your mother's brother. And may God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you, that you may become a company of peoples."

Isaac goes on, but the one thing he doesn't mention is Jacob's past lies. He doesn't even say, "And don't deceive Laban like you deceived me."

I know I've given my kids those qualifiers - -just have to bring something up again.

Isaac shows true forgiveness. He takes Jacob as he is.

After Jacob leaves he has a dream where God speaks to him. And guess what? God doesn't mention his lies and deceit either. Instead God says to Jacob, "I am with you, and will keep you wherever you, and will bring you back to this land;"

He says a lot more than that but that is the most important part (read it in Genesis 28 if you like).

When Jacob comes back 20 years later he's afraid of Esau. Esau is rightly angry and at first he wanted to kill Jacob.

But this is what Esau does when he sees his long-lost brother:

"Then Esau ran to meet (Jacob) and embracd him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept." Genesis 33:4

Oh, that we would forgive like this! This is the only way to forgive. Reconciliation is our ministry. Let's do it!

Some Horses Have No Mercy

1/5/2013

See this horse? His name is Jon. He's mine if a horse can be a person's.

And he gives no mercy and no grace!!

When Shannon was wooing me years ago while we walked around Africa wearing Army shorts and shirts, he told me he'd get me a horse.

And he has. We've been married for almost 19 years and for 14 years+ we've had horses.

Jon and I've been working together for a few years. This past year I really started riding him. And for most of his life (he was born on our place) he's always allowed me to "catch" him but no one else.

But now he's mad.

Since it has grown cold he hasn't gotten the attention he's used to getting.

So he refuses to let me touch him (at least without some real begging on my part).

I've been mad at him all week because he also has been jumping the fence every single day and helping himself to the hay. Yesterday he even plpped himself right down in the bale of hay and sunned himself. I saw him from my kitchen window. He was probably even snoring.

Golly, I know I deserve a bit of snubbing but as much as he is giving me is ridiculous.

One of my children acts just like he's acting at times. She refuses to forgive until she has a mind to (no matter what you do to seek that forgiveness).

You know what I've been thinking about when I deal with Jon?

I've been thinking about God and thanking Him that He is not like my horse. I am so so glad God is quick to forgive and full of mercy toward us. If He wasn't we'd all be going to hell and life would be hopeless and horrible.

"The LORD's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Thank you Jesus!

Thank you Father!

Thank you Spirit!!!!!

Christmas Verses

12/19/2012

There's all sorts of Christmas verses in the Bible (and in books throughout the world). Actually, you could say every single verse in the Bible deals with Christmas.

Here are a few of my favorites (and well known ones):

"For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will be rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

"And she gave birth to her first-born son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:7

"And the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which shall be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:10

There is another verse that qualifies as an official Christmas Verse that has NEVER been one of my favorites (or one that I have even thought about until this past week):

"A VOICE WAS HEARD IN RAMAH, WEEPING AND GREAT MOURNING, RACHEL WEEPING FOR HER CHILDREN; AND SHE REFUSED TO BE COMFORTED, BECAUSE THEY WERE NO MORE." Matthew 2:18

The horrors that happened in Connecticut may be closer to what many experienced around the beginning of Jesus' life than we would like to believe.

"They were just children."

The latest horror is maybe one of the most gruesome because most who were brutally killed were small children, innocents who were just sitting in class learning their letters, learning how to add and subtract.

Please pray for the parents and the brothers and sisters who lost so much. Pray for the teachers' and principal's families which lost their family members.

Yet, it is part of Christmas - -ours and the first one so long ago. I am all for the sweet scenes we draw and paint and see in movies, but it was not sweet. It was life and death. It was God sending His son into a violent world, a violent world so much like ours. He lived, died and came back to life for all of us -- oh, if Jesus isn't a real part of your life, like a huge part, like someone you talk to everyday, someone you life for, someone you let guide you -- ask Him.

He will give you peace and comfort.

Please let Him.

Even when we're like that

11/15/2012

"'Go out at once into the streets and lanes of the city and bring in here the poor and crippled and blind and lame,' And the slave said, 'Master, what you commanded has been done, and still there is room.'

"And the master said to the slave, 'Go out into the highways and along the hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.'"
Luke 14:21b-23

Two nights ago I woke up at 3 a.m. from an awful dream and had a wave of panic flow over me. This happens to me periodically. God is faithful though to help me through it. I have a few go-to verses that help get me centered.
2 Corinthians 10:5 is one of them. After a while my heart stopped racing and I was able to rest again.

The verses above spoke to me in a different way today. I don't know if you'll relate but we'll see. I've read those verses in Luke many times and have always seen the people who have come to the marriage feast as others, not myself. I have always pictured myself sitting at the table watching all these guests arrive.

This morning I realized I'm one of the guests talked about -- I am one of the "poor and crippled and blind and lame" guests. And even though I've been a Believer for 20+ years I still am one of these guests.

When I have a moment of insanity (My Crazy Jane times) I feel like hiding in a hole, not going out, not interacting with others so they don't get exposed to this darker side of myself. As I read the verses I am rethinking this. We are always welcome at God's table no matter what our conditions are.

I'm one of the crazies. There are days I think that if I had lived in the 1950s I would have been one of those wives put away in an asylum.

As I've gotten older I understand myself better and I can deal with the crazy times much more effectively because I know what is going on, but they are still there. Just because I really love Jesus and I live for Him everyday of my life (sometimes very badly) doesn't mean I am the complete person I will be in heaven.

Yes, I am complete in Jesus but it is because He fills up all the cracks and crevices of my honest-to-goodness brokenness.

Paul says, "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

God's grace is always enough even when I am not.

I want to share a quote with you from Joni Earekson Tada. She writes, "Not everyone can be trusted with suffering. Not everyone can endure a fiery ordeal. So the Master scrutinizes the jewels and carefully selects those which can bear the refining, the branches which can stand the knife. It is given for some to preach, for others to work, for others to give, and for still others to suffer. Where do you fit on the scale? He [God] has selected you to handle the particular, unique individual set of circumstances in your life. Not everyone could be trusted with what you're wrestling with, but you have been so trusted. The grace is God's. The choice is yours."

If we look close into someone's eyes, we can see the face of God. God loves each of us so very much. Welcome everyone to the table. Welcome all of yourself too.

Grace Rhythms

10/21/2011

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Matthew 11:28-30 from The Message

Grace

5/28/2011

"I do not nullify the grace of God" Galatians 2:21a

Do I? This is what I asked myself this morning.

"Are you foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?" Galatians 3:3

Are there parts in my life I try to manage without God? Are there parts in me I handle myself because I want to be in control? Do I get irritated when my routine is changed? How about when things don't go the way I want them to, what is my response? It is telling of who is in charge of my life.

Do I try to be a "good" Christian, or "good" person? Is it a show? Is it work and strife on my part?

I love Psalm 46. Here it is from http://Biblegateway.com:

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.
                         Selah.
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the I)'>(I)city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.
                         Selah.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
10 Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.
                         Selah.

Read verse 10 again. That is always good advice. Have a glorious weekend. I'll talk to you Monday.