God is so faithful. He truly wants us to be completely free within, not leaning on anything but Him because in Him we will become wholly who we were created to be. And what a joy that is! To just live and be passionate about life and what is before us and the tasks we do. Glory to God!
These last several months, well, you could say my whole life, I struggled with finances. My entire married life our finances have been a struggle (like many people). We work hard but usually, most all the time for the past almost 22 years we've had to believe for God to come through with the finances.
Truly this is a great place to be. It really is where everyone is because everything belongs to God including our talents and skills and good-paying jobs. That being said, if a person has a job that pays all the bills it is easy to forget that provision comes straight from God.
Anyway, back to me. God has done a wonder in me this morning (or maybe it was last night). He's been working on me for my entire adult life. He is so patient. I have always known He provides and He does. But sometimes in the past I've tried to "help" Him; and inevitably my help caused our situation to be worse. My husband and I have chosen to put God first in all our decisions for our family and sometimes the choices we made, look, basically ridiculous, from the world point of view.
And I was fine with that but my flesh still struggled even as we chose rightly. I believe and have faith and then would worry. Over and over. There have been months and years I did great with this issue -- years where I knew in every single cell that God's provision was perfect and would come at the perfect time and all would be well. And then I'd struggle again. Why can't I learn? I'd tell myself (that is not from God because you can hear the condemnation in that question).
But God understood. And He doesn't condemn our struggles. The struggle is important. It too is part of the learning process and the way to freedom. The decisions I've made that made things worse have not been condemned by God either. He knows they too were part of the process. And I can't say I've arrived totally with the right attitude toward money and finances and provision but I am so thankful where I'm at.
God has finally been able to pry that issue out of my hands. My heart is free. My heart is light. And as the song says, "Faith is the victory."
I don't see the victory yet in this world (we are waiting for some things to happen financially in our lives and they will -- just have to be God's timing) but I feel the victory within. No matter how long all this takes (the things that are going to happen for us) I know that I know that I know God's got it. Besides the line from Casting Crowns that says, "Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place" another line from a song has been going through my head yesterday and today. It says, "He's a good, good Father."
It's a song by Chris Tomlin and we can know that for sure -- our Father is a good, good father. I'll paste the lyrics below and also give you the link to the YouTube video. If you haven't heard this song take time to listen to it now. God is a good good Father!
"Good Good Father"
Oh, I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like
But I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night
And you tell me that you're pleased
And that I'm never alone
You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am
Oh, and I've seen many searching for answers far and wide
But I know we're all searching
For answers only you provide
Cause you know just what we need
Before we say a word
You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am
Cause you are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us
Oh, it's love so undeniable
I, I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable
I, I can hardly think
As you call me deeper still [x3]
Into love, love, love
[x3:]
You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am
You're a Good, Good Father
(You are perfect in all of your ways)
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
(You are perfect in all of your ways)
It's who I am, it's who I am it's who I am