A lot of our problems in human relationships (including in the church and wherever a lot of humans work together) is that we are busybodies. We are like children in the worst way in this.
Let me give you an example. My three youngest are very close in age: I have two fourth graders and one third grader. They are doing better, but their bent is to tell on each other and to insist on everything being "fair." If one of them gets something, then one of the others wonders where their "something" is. If one gets praised, if they are in a very childish mood, the other pouts.
Now to be fair, let me say, my three youngest are doing much better at this and will grow out of it. BUT, often we adults don't grow out of it. We want our way when it comes to dealing with other people. If someone else gets praised and noticed for what they do, we sometimes think, "Hey, what about us? We're special too."
Another thing: often we want to control others. If we hear they speak badly about us we want them to stop it so we might talk negatvely about them.
All of this is behavior that needs to stop. None of it furthers the kingdom of God. All of it takes our eyes off of God and what He has for us. All of it is demeaning and negative and won't help anyone but the enemy.
Ashley Judd had a great op piece in The Daily Beast. Part of what she wrote has so spoken to me. It really goes along with this and I want to share it.
She writes,
"I hold that it is none of my business what people think of me. I arrived at this belief after first, when I began working as an actor 18 years ago, reading everything. I evolved into selecting only the “good” pieces to read. Over time, I matured into the understanding that good and bad are equally fanciful interpretations. I do not want to give my power, my self-esteem, or my autonomy, to any person, place, or thing outside myself. I thus abstain from all media about myself. The only thing that matters is how I feel about myself, my personal integrity, and my relationship with my Creator. Of course, it’s wonderful to be held in esteem and fond regard by family, friends, and community, but a central part of my spiritual practice is letting go of otheration. And casting one’s lot with the public is dangerous and self-destructive, and I value myself too much to do that."