Truly this isn't the case, but maybe it is a topic that needs more writing about? I have no idea. I deleted it because I didn't want to repeat what I said in the last post. But goodness, I think you need to hear this. That even an almost 56-year-old woman who has been a lover and follower of Jesus for over 30 years; a woman who reads and studies her Bible daily with relish (I love reading the Bible); a woman who is loved, loved, loved and cherished by her husband; a woman who is pretty much content in her own skin; a woman who knows God's will for her life (at least right now) -- anyway, this woman still has body issues at times.
So, let me tell you a story (a quick one -- I know you're busy).
So, I saw a commercial on TV that features Actor Jennifer Garner speaking about the benefits of a certain credit card (I think it's Capital One). Anyway, I say to Shannon, "She's cute (meaning Jennifer)." And in the commercial she looks really cute and kind -- a woman who could be a good friend; a woman I'd love to have coffee with.
Well, that commercial comes on again and I say the same thing. Something about her approachability and real-person kind of vibe hits my heart (it's a commercial so that is probably what they are going for).
And then I hear from God. He says to me (really, I'm not making this up), "You wanted to be a Ginger, but you're a Mary Ann."
Yeah -- God will use anything -- even Gilligan's Island. That TV show wasn't even on my mind at the time of this comment (I can say with complete confidence it hasn't been on my mind for years and years).
God sure knows us better than we know ourselves. And yes, when I was a kid and saw Gilligan's Island, I wished I could be like Ginger -- beautiful and glamorous.
Why does this matter?
Well, here's the thing. Inside each of us we have pictures of how we want to be. If those pictures don't line up with who God made us to be, we will struggle with ourselves as long as we hold onto those pictures. Sometimes we don't even know about the pictures. They've been filed away inside our heads in some dusty file cabinet that we've forgotten about.
When God told me this it made so much sense. My whole life (well, since I was about five years old -- so like over 50 years), I wanted princess hair. I wanted that long, gorgeous hair you see on TV and in the movies.
Look, my hair can grow. I can grow it long. But it isn't pretty. It's actually kind of ugly long -- no! Let's be clear. It is ugly long. I look like the lady who has the gingerbread house in the woods!
Receiving this revelation from God (the Ginger revelation) freed me to have my hair a lot shorter (I know this sounds silly, but I'm enjoying a glass of Merlot as I write this so maybe .... nah. I'm silly whether I have a glass of wine or a glass of water). It freed me to be just me. Now in a million years, you would have never guessed the Ginger thing because I usually dress in the style of bag-lady chic. It was just a tiny voice inside me somewhere (oh yeah, in that dusty forgotten file cabinet). Dressing up is hard for me. Really, it is. I'd rather wear an old pair of jeans and one of my husband's shirts.
Okay, enough about me.
What about you?
Have you accepted yourself as you are? Jesus says to love your neighbor has yourself, but if you don't accept yourself it is going to be really hard to accept your neighbor and love him or her.
Do you find yourself calling yourself names when you mess up? Like do you say, "I'm so stupid." Or, "I'm such an idiot."
If you are negative on yourself, please go to God. Ask him to help you figure out why you are. Because you are loved and cherished and you were made by God. He never calls you bad things. He never condemns you. He wants you to be free to love and be loved.
So, I will close now. The last couple of years I've been reading lots of poetry. Why? Cause I want to understand it. And I think I finally am (at least a bit). I plan on writing a poem tonight. It probably won't be very good, but it is the process that's important.
Let Jesus love you. Cause he already does, and he knows you better than you know yourself.