Knowing all this, superficial things shouldn't get to me. I mean in the face of tragedy why be concerned about silly things like appearance? Vanity is so ugly and stupid!
Mornings are slow going for me these days. It takes me a couple of hours for my body to function well. And this morning I was just caught up in hating the way I presently look. I am embarrassed to even mention this! This past Wednesday a young lady and her mom (friends of mine) put on a very special tea party at our church for several ladies and girls. It was absolutely beautiful! They spent 12 hours decorating and weeks preparing. Our little church was transformed into a wedding reception. Every single person had her own teacup and saucer -- all different designs. We were taught how to know if it is fine china. There were scones and little finger sandwiches and cream puffs and chocolate-covered strawberries and French delicacies -- it was amazing. And there flowers everywhere.
We were asked to wear dresses. And women did. They looked so pretty. Some looked like they were part of a wedding party they looked so pretty.
And then there was me. I wore a $4 dress I bought at a thrift store. In fact I wasn't quite sure if it was a dress or a nightgown (Shannon said it had to be a dress because it had pockets). I put a wide black belt around my waist so it would look fancier (or so I thought -- actually it looked like a cheap girdle). Pictures were taken. Man, I looked so bad.
I should laugh about it. And I am. To think I had on possible nightgown while other ladies had their hair and makeup done and wore beautiful lace dresses. Oh, yeah, that is funny.
Yesterday after seeing that picture I had my husband cut a few inches off my hair. And I started cutting out a pattern for a dress. Of course even if this dress turns out well the best I can go for is cute. Not pretty or glamorous. C.S. Lewis was known to always look rumpled. I read that he would put on a nice suit and look put together for a few minutes and then he would be all rumpled. That is what happens to me (oooo, maybe that is a good sign! Maybe I will write some great books one day).
Presently, I am reading Exodus in the Bible. The last couple of years my personal Bible study has just been reading straight through the Bible. Anyway, if you check out that photo you will see that Exodus 37:1-9 gives us the building instructions for the Ark of the Covenant. They are so detailed. And while reading this I prayed and wondered how God would speak to me through these details.
Something came to mind. The Ark was sacred. The Ark could only be transported a certain way. It could only be touched by certain people. It was not to be opened. It held the Ten Commandment tablets, Aaron's budding staff and some mana. It was kept in the very center of the Tabernacle. Great care went into taking care of it.
Great care goes into taking care of each of us. Great details and forethought by the Creator of the Universe went into creating you and me. The numbers of hairs on your head are numbered by God. The way you talk, the way you walk (or don't walk); the way you move and eat and see life and wonder about things -- all of this is you -- the person God loves so so so much. Sure, some of us are rumpled people. Some of us are glamorous (though really -- as C.S. Lewis said in The Magician's Nephew, people often look a whole lot better in their every day clothes -- their rumpled clothes). Some of us are pale. Some of us are ebony. Some of us are brown. Some of us are strong. Some of us are fragile. Some of us can function quite well on just a few hours sleep. Some of us need ten hours of sleep. Oh, we are varied and beautiful and none of us should be vain. But I guess, we all can have vain moments. As Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes 1:2, "'vanity of vanities! All is vanity." So, maybe we all have vain moments.
Yet, I will tell you what got me out of this silly funk -- my grandson videochatted me and told me he went number 2 on the potty! And he made me laugh and and my almost 8 month old granddaughter smiled and bounced on her mama's knee. Children! To be like children. Jesus says in Matthew 18:3, "“unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
When children are being children they aren't vain. They are totally outside themselves just enjoying life -- absolutely no self-consciousness at all. And that is how we are to be. To live eternally we are to let go of Self and embrace Jesus and his love. And love him and people. Thank you Jesus for this life!